Athanasius Contra Mundum

On Fasting

2011-11-22T12:13:00.000-08:00

"By fasting it is possible both to be delivered from future evils and to enjoy the good things to come. We fell into disease through sin; let us receive healing through repentance, which is not fruitful without fasting." --St. Basil the Great

"And Jesus said to them, 'Can the friends of the bridegroom mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast.'" --Matthew 9:15

"And let not your fastings be with the hypocrites, for they fast on the second and the fifth day of the week; but do ye keep your fast on the fourth (Wednesday) and on the preparation (the sixth, i.e, Friday) day." --Didache 8:1-2

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Fasting is something that is mentioned, but largely unpracticed by modern American Christians. Indeed, fasting-- self-denial-- seems to run at odds with our entire indulgent, consumer culture. But Jesus clearly says that Christians are to fast. "But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast."

He cannot be speaking of any period other than the Church age; that is, between the first and the second advent. Christians are called to fast now. So why do modern Christians not fast, and when they do, infrequently and inconsistently?

An Announcement

2011-09-21T08:14:00.000-07:00

Crossposted from my Facebook account:

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So I wrote this note more as an official declaration than anything, although those closest to me already knew the announcement I'm about to make.

I am leaving Western Christianity in general-- and the Churches of Christ in particular, and joining the Eastern Orthodox Church.

Perhaps I should give some background.

I haven't had any huge struggles in my spiritual life recently; no massive existential crisis that left me adrift in a sea of confusion. So you don't have to worry about that. I never doubted Christ, even if I have questioned the hows and whys of certain things. To be honest, I was dealing with a certain amount of dissatisfaction in my personal life and also in what I saw around me. I was not quite the person I wanted to be, but who is? I wasn't entirely comfortable with my Church, but these criticisms were on a more personal level, and church is corporate, not individual. I had always frowned upon people who whined "I'm not getting spiritually fed" and similar criticisms, and tried to make the Church reflect what they wanted. I would not be that person, I decided.

I had also been reading. I had read Athanasius, and Augustine, and occasionally snippets from other early Christians. These men were, beyond a shadow of a doubt, followers of the same God as I. You could see it in their writings. When Athanasius describes how Christ reconciles us to God through his life, death, and resurrection, I knew this man was genuine, and would know more about God-- and know Him better-- than I could ever hope to. When Augustine cried that all men's souls were restless until they found rest in God, I recognized a kindred spirit. I knew that, despite the distance in time and space, Augustine and I worshipped the same God, though he had more certainty and honesty than I could muster.

I also-- slowly, of course-- began to understand that the Christianity of these men looked different than my own. They worshipped differently. Prayed differently. It made me wonder, at times. I suppose you could say I was being prepared. Nudged, bit-by-bit, out of my old patterns of thinking. Other Christian churches were no less valid for different forms of worship, was that not the heart of the first precept of the Stone-Campbell movement? The Churches of Christ hold to three principles: "We are not the only Christians, but we are Christians only." "No creed but Christ, no book but the Bible." "In essentials unity; in opinions liberty; in all things love." I might question some things, but not this. These were good teachings. Not a bad hill to plant your standard on, all things considered. So I resolved to stay where I was, and deal with whatever issues I had personally.

A few months later, I got a wake up call. I had just finished a book by Rodney Stark called "The Victory of Reason". It's a good book; It explains how Western history was pushed in a positive direction by Christianity. I recommend you check it out. Anyway, I was having an online discussion about the book with a friend of mine. We began mentioning how Christianity-- and this is a key point of the book-- has developed over time, how it has changed in certain ways that led to the development of the free market, to the enlightenment, etc.

My friend responded with the assertion that Christ's message has not changed. It doesn't "develop", it doesn't "mature" over time-- it was delivered "once for all". Our duty, he said, was to maintain fidelity to the teachings of Christ and his Apostles, and to share them with others. Nothing more, nothing less. And what he said... *spoke* to me. It seemed to take into account my hesitations, my issues with what I thought, what I believed... It was an authoritative answer, but it shined with truth.

I asked him what Church he went to. He said he didn't merely go to "a" church, but he was in "the" Church, the very one founded at Pentecost. The Orthodox Church. That thread was quickly deleted, but we got together over email. I hammered him with questions. How can you prove that? He pointed to doctrines and practices that hadn't changed since the beginning. Immersion baptism. *BAM*. I knew from my education at KCU that the early believers immersed, and that pouring/sprinkling had been an innovation added later. Score one for the Orthodox Church. There were others. I ordered books. I read. I looked about online, at resources there.

Like the Roman Catholics, they could point to a unbroken lineage to the first century. Unlike the Roman Catholics, however, they could point out that purgatory, indulgences, papal supremacy/infallibility, and other accretions were never adopted by the Orthodox Church, as they were in the West. There was never a Protestant Reformation in the Orthodox Church, as there was nothing to reform.

It was a journey both easy and difficult at the same time. So much was familiar, so much rang true. But other things looked odd and knocked me for a loop. I read the explanations, the apologias for the how and the what and the why of Orthodox faith and practice. And the things I didn't agree with, I admitted were possibly true, as my disagreement stemmed from personal opinion rather than concrete proof.

Looking into history, it was easy to see the wildly different directions East and West took after the first united millennium. The Eastern Orthodox Church changed no essential doctrines. The West did, and often. As I spent months studying, searching, praying... I came to the conclusion that if any Church on Earth could claim to be the New Testament Church, it was the Holy Apostolic Catholic Orthodox Church.

Something you must understand about the denomination I came from. The Churches of Christ seek to return to the New Testament Church. They take the Church described in Scripture, and try as much as is possible to emulate it (with varying levels of success). What I was taught in the Churches of Christ was to respect the earliest believers and to follow their example. They have a deep respect and affection for the first century Church. And it is this respect and affection I had implanted in me. So when it slowly began to dawn on me that the Orthodox Church was not some man-made denomination, that they had successfully kept the faith through persecution and division, through war and peace, that they were the Church of Peter, Paul, Barnabas, Athanasius, Augustine... I knew that I must join. I must become Orthodox.

It is not that the Churches of Christ is bad, or heretical, or anything like that. They have a portion of the truth-- love for the First century Church and for Scripture gets them that far, at least. But I have found the "real thing", the Church which the Churches of Christ (and all other denominations, for that matter), are a dim reflection of. I have found the truth in its fullness, complete and unchanged from the very beginning. I have many family and friends in the Churches of Christ. And I still love all of you, and will go on loving all of you. But I cannot continue on with you, not in the Churches of Christ. Knowing what I now know, I cannot sit in your pews, listen to your sermons (though they teach good things), sing your songs (though they are beautiful). It would be a betrayal. I can no longer embrace the lowest common denominator held to by the Stone-Campbell movement, now that I have seen the wholeness of the truth. I cannot cling to the driftwood of Restorationism, not with the Ark of Salvation plunging through the waves of this world, offering passage to all who would climb aboard.

Some of you may take this as an insult, and as a challenge. It is neither, nor do I intend it to be. But exclusive claims are often taken that way, so I felt I had to make that clear. I am simply trying to explain to everyone who reads this why I am becoming Orthodox, why I am making such a distant journey, in thought and deed and belief.

Feel free to make comments, or ask questions, or say anything else that is on your heart.

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And there were comments. All of them were gracious, though some took object with some of the Orthodox Church's claims-- declaring oneself to be the One, Universal, Apostolic, Undivided Church is sure to raise hackles, not only among those who believe their church to be so, but also among those who don't believe in anything other than "denominations". Still, I was appreciative of all the comments, though of course I couldn't agree with all of them.

And this note being what it was, I didn't respond in an "apologetic" fashion, though I think I could have done so. One thing that stuck with me-- surprised me, actually-- was a comment of one of my professors. In it, he said the goal of the Stone-Campbell movement (the source of the "Churches of Christ"/"non-denominational" Christian churches) was to "get back to the beliefs of the early church, but not necessarily all of their practices." This shocked me. You see, I had always been taught the goals of the "Restoration" movement was to restore the early Church. That is, at least, the way it has always been taught.

But here was a professor who admitted-- no slouch to history, he-- that certain practices of the early Church were not admitted into the Churches of Christ. Which ones he is referring to, I do not know. But having researched myself, I know there are many beliefs and practices of the Church which Barton Stone and Alexander Campbell jettisoned as "later additions"-- such as infant baptism, the office of bishop, the Eucharist being the body and blood and not merely "symbol devoid of reality"-- and thus never made it into the "Restored Church".

I think that was the first time I breathed a sigh of relief to be, finally, Orthodox. To rest behind walls built of martyr brick and saint mortar, to know that-- no matter how fierce and all-consuming the storm outside is-- these walls will never fall, because Jesus Christ himself promised that they would not.

Two quotes, and a thought.

2011-07-10T13:43:00.000-07:00

"If men were angels, no government would be necessary. If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on government would be necessary. In framing a government which is to be administered by men over men, the great difficulty lies in this: you must first enable the government to control the governed; and in the next place, oblige it to control itself."
--James Madison, Federalist No. 51, February 8, 1788

"Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then, be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? Let history answer this question."
--Thomas Jefferson: 1st Inaugural, 1801

These two quotes from two of America's greatest Founders make the point that only divines are perfect enough to rule man. And since no man is perfect or divine, no man is fit to rule others.

I will go so far as to agree that no one currently living in the United States is fit to rule another-- least of all the sniveling brutes in DC. But Orthodoxy teaches that man can-- through effort and the Grace of God-- achieve theosis, and that that journey begins on earth. And as a man moves closer to God, he becomes more like God-- just, merciful, loving, etc. In short, Orthodoxy teaches that it is possible for man to become someone who IS fit to rule and govern.

Do you agree with the conclusion stated above? Would such warnings as outlined by Madison and Jefferson no longer apply to our unnamed Saint? How could one find such a person? Are there, perhaps, times and places in history where there was such thing as a "just king"?

Food for thought.

A review of "Paul"--- spoilers ahead.

2011-04-04T22:41:00.000-07:00

Saw "Paul" with Seth Rogen, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.

I want to preface this by saying-- I love Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. I own like, every movie they've made. Shaun of the Dead was hilarious, though I far preferred Hot Fuzz. So a nerd film? By two of the biggest and proudest nerds making movies today? Color me STOKED.

First off, the good parts. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of sci-fi references in here. The Redneck bar where the band is playing the Cantina song from Star Wars? Awesome. The alien ship being shaped like the guitar spaceship from that one music album? Hilarious. The Indiana Jones warehouse, Paul's talk with Spielberg, etc. Too many to list. Great performances from Jason Bateman and Bill Hader,especially Hader's face heel turn and Bateman's reveal.

Now for the bad. Spoiler alert.

I understand that, as a Christian, there's a certain amount of mockery of my religion that is unavoidable and even expected from certain sectors of Hollywood. We're a target that sits on our hands, whereas attacking the other two big monotheistic religions will get you litigated or worse. Add in that fact the Jesus promised we'd be hated for our beliefs, plus the fact most of the country is nominally Christian at best, and you have a recipe for resignation to the fact that there will be something in every comedy film that takes a cheap shot at my faith. It's just the price of doing business (that business being watching movies).

So I don't resent the fact that Pegg and Frost mocked my religion; I knew it was coming when I saw the sign for "Pearly Gates RV Park." What I didn't expect was that it be so relentless, so vicious-- and that it would be so poorly shoe-horned in.

So we have the boys roll into a trailer park, where there are met by Kristen Wiig playing Hollywood's impression of a Protestant Evangelical Christian. Our damsel in distress is blind in one eye and wears a t-shirt with a pistol-packing Jesus blowing the brains out of Charles Darwin, with the totally straight-forward message "Evolve This!" printed beneath. When Pegg and Frost ask why Jesus would shoot Darwin, she replies that it is because of "his blasphemous theory of evolution". She then continues, to their (and presumably our) incredulity, that God "intelligently designed" everything in a six-day creation, and that the world is only "4000 years old." (Apparently Nick and Simon fail to realize that a creative intelligence and evolution aren't mutually compatible-- their lack of subject-matter knowledge will be touched on later.)

Enter the alien hero. "That's garbage!" he says. "If God exists, how do you explain me!" Our Christian parody faints dead away, and upon waking later and finding out its not a dream, she drops to her knees, clasps her hands, starts bellowing "Amazing Grace" at the top of her lungs and speaking in tongues. Exasperated by her refusal to acknowledge whats in front of her, Paul finally-- in a moment that may qualify for an entry in "Fridge Horror" on TVTropes, places his hand on her forehead and beams all his knowledge into her mind. We see a montage of scenes that look like they were pulled straight from "Cosmos", mixed with images of slowly evolving creatures. From this point in the movie on, Kristen Wiig's character is no longer a theist, let alone a Christian one.

She flees the RV, and Simon Pegg's character follows her, smitten with her as he is. Cue a long discussion as she is forced to reconcile what she"knows" with what she has believed. Kristen Wiig paraphrases Dostoyevsky's maxim that "Without God, all things are permissible." Pegg denies this, but never explains exactly why morality still matters. It just does. (An interesting mirror of her now dead faith-- Pegg knows atheism can still be moral the same way she knew God was real-- belief without empirical evidence. I doubt, however, this is intentional on the part of Pegg and Frost.)

She returns to the RV, and Paul asks her to take her glasses off. One lens is blacked out, and this is because she is blind in one eye. She removes the glasses, and Paul (whom we have seen resurrect a dead bird to eat it) heals her a la ET: The Extraterrestrial. Paul quickly answers her awed whisper of "how did you do that?" with something to the effect of "a couple million years of evolutionary mutation, sweetie." Presumably to beat us silly retrogrades over the head with the Aesop that God did nothing for her, while the atheist alien healed her no strings attached.

Now remember that all of this occurs while they are being chased by government agents bent on killing Paul and anyone with him. An intimidating Jason Bateman with a "do whatever I want and get away with it badge" is on their heels-- in fact, the scene just prior has him and his bumbling FBI sidekicks at the very RV park they just abandoned. Yes. Death in the form of shadowy government agents is literally at their heels, but they have time to stop the RV, spend an inordinate amount of time "curing" a Christian of her silly mental shackles and engaging in the attendant philosophical debates, and with no sense of urgency at all or with no consequences.

It really kind of broke the pacing of the film, which until this point was "slipping out of dodge just ahead of the posse" every single time. From then on I had trouble taking the character's urgency all that seriously. "Quick , we gotta get out of here!" Why? I would think. You're just gonna lose them quickly enough for whatever detours you want to take from here on out.

Later, we meet more of the same Christian bashing, as Kristen Wiig refers to her religious father as "these people", she thanks Paul for "freeing her", and Paul angrily dismisses the "God be with you!" of Wiig's father with a "Yeah, whatever dude." All of these scenes could have been dropped from the film with absolutely no impact on the plot. They don't contribute at all to the main plot, either by aiding the villains and increasing tension, or giving the good guys an extra "ace in the hole" to help complete their mission. Completely superfluous. It seems that Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, who penned the story, had a message they wanted to get across and were willing to do whatever it takes-- even force it in to the detriment of the film itself-- to do so.

There's also an issue that has less to do with the film itself and more a lack of knowledge on the part of Frost and Pegg. Namely, the complete misunderstanding of Christianity, Intelligent Design, Aliens, Evolution, and where those things meet. In interviews, the two Brits have apparently made known the fact that the very idea of aliens disproves God's existence. Not only is this absurd, (as anyone familiar with C.S. Lewis's "Space Trilogy" can attest), but it also displays a lack of understanding of Christianity.

I am aware that Simon Pegg and Nick Frost have stated in interviews that Christians shouldn't be offended by their poking fun at a "particular brand" of the religion, not only because it is fiction but also because "if you aren't one of those Christians then its not aimed at you." Unfortunately for them, I'm not so dumb as to fall for that ruse. Sure, I'm not the real life version of Kristen Wiig's character. I'm not Catholic either. But I get offended when they get bashed, because the differences between creationist Protestants, Catholics, and Orthodox are practically nonexistent from the outside looking in. Those outside Christianity looking at Christianity itself see essentially the same thing across the board. So anytime the Catholic Church or a young-earth, Bible thumping creationist is portrayed on TV, the target is all Christians everywhere and for all time-- those two "types" are simply the most familiar to audiences-- and those who make the movies who've never in their lives visited "flyover country".

In short, Paul was a good film ruined by an anti-Christian subplot, said subplot also serving to detract from the main story as a whole. Not telling you to skip it, just be aware of what you're shelling out $7.75 for.

Why read the Church Fathers? (or) Is The Scripture Self-Interpreting?

2011-03-07T21:16:00.000-08:00

30 Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Philip asked.

31 “How can I,” he said, “unless someone explains it to me?” So he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.

32 This is the passage of Scripture the eunuch was reading:

“He was led like a sheep to the slaughter,
and as a lamb before its shearer is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
33 In his humiliation he was deprived of justice.
Who can speak of his descendants?
For his life was taken from the earth.”

34 The eunuch asked Philip, “Tell me, please, who is the prophet talking about, himself or someone else?” 35 Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus." --Acts 8:30-35

This is wh I read the Church Fathers. And what they have to say on any given passage is far more accurate or important than what any modern theologian has to say-- or what I think about it, for that matter.

C.S. Lewis on the similarities of Science and Magic

2011-02-26T16:45:00.000-08:00

He means, of course, magic in the occultic sense, not magic in the good, "Narnian" sense.

"There is something which unites magic and applied science while separating both from the wisdom of earlier ages. For the wise men of old the cardinal problem had been how to conform the soul to reality, and the solution had been knowledge, self-discipline, and virtue. For magic and applied science alike the problem is how to subdue reality to the wishes of men: the solution is a technique; and both, in the practice of this technique, are ready to do things hitherto regarded as disgusting and impious—such as digging up and mutilating the dead.

If we compare the chief trumpeter of the new era (Bacon) with Marlowe's Faustus, the similarity is striking. You will read in some critics that Faustus has a thirst for knowledge. In reality, he hardly mentions it. It is not truth he wants from the devils, but gold and guns and girls. `All things that move between the quiet poles shall be at his command' and `a sound magician is a mighty god'. In the same spirit Bacon condemns those who value knowledge as an end in itself: this, for him, is to use as a mistress for pleasure what ought to be a spouse for fruit. The true object is to extend Man's power to the performance of all things possible. He rejects magic because it does not work; but his goal is that of the magician. In Paracelsus the characters of magician and scientist are combined. No doubt those who really founded modern science were usually those whose love of truth exceeded their love of power; in every mixed movement the efficacy comes from the good elements not from the bad. But the presence of the bad elements is not irrelevant to the direction the efficacy takes. It might be going too far to say that the modern scientific movement was tainted from its birth: but I think it would be true to say that it, was born in an unhealthy neighbourhood and at an inauspicious hour. Its triumphs may have-been too rapid and purchased at too high a price: reconsideration, and something like repentance, may be required." -- C.S. Lewis, "The Abolition of Man"

His book "The Abolition of Man" can be found here.

Something to reflect on this Saturday Morning...

2011-02-26T04:38:00.000-08:00

“It is proper and right to sing to You, bless You, praise You, thank You and worship You in all places of Your dominion; for You are God ineffable, beyond comprehension, invisible, beyond understanding, existing forever and always the same; You and Your only begotten Son and Your Holy Spirit. You brought us into being out of nothing, and when we fell, You raised us up again. You did not cease doing everything until You led us to heaven and granted us Your kingdom to come. For all these things we thank You and Your only begotten Son and Your Holy Spirit; for all things that we know and do not know, for blessings seen and unseen that have been bestowed upon us. We also thank You for this liturgy which You are pleased to accept from our hands, even though You are surrounded by thousands of Archangels and tens of thousands of Angels, by the Cherubim and Seraphim, six-winged, many-eyed, soaring with their wings..." -- From the Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom

I... I have no words.

2011-02-25T01:23:00.000-08:00

AbortionNO.org/The Center for Bio-Ethical Reform. NOT WORK SAFE, OR CHILD SAFE, OR WEAK STOMACH SAFE!

Lord have mercy.

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"Now we allow that life begins with conception because we contend that the soul also begins from conception; life taking its commencement at the same moment and place that the soul does." --Tertullian, "De Anima", 27

Frederic Bastiat

2011-02-21T21:12:00.000-08:00

"Socialism, like the ancient ideas from which it springs, confuses the distinction between government and society. As a result of this, every time we object to a thing being done by government, the socialists conclude that we object to its being done at all. We disapprove of state education. Then the socialists say that we are opposed to any education. We object to a state religion. Then the socialists say that we want no religion at all. We object to a state-enforced equality. Then they say that we are against equality. And so on, and so on. It is as if the socialists were to accuse us of not wanting persons to eat because we do not want the state to raise grain."

"When law and morality contradict each other, the citizen has the cruel alternative of either losing his moral sense or losing his respect for the law."

From his timeless 1850 classic, "The Law".

Legitimate Government

2011-02-21T21:01:00.000-08:00

First, John C. Calhoun on the line between representative government and tyranny.

"Stripped of all its covering, the naked question is, whether ours is a federal or a consolidated government; a constitutional or absolute one; a government resting ultimately on the solid basis of the sovereignty of the States or on the unrestrained will of a majority; a form of government, as in all other unlimited ones, in which injustice, and violence, and force must finally prevail. Let it never be forgotten that, where the majority rules without restriction, the minority is the subject; and that, if we should absurdly attribute to the former the exclusive right of construing the Constitution, there would be, in fact, between the sovereign and subject, under such a government, no Constitution, or, at least, nothing deserving the name, or serving the legitimate object of so sacred an instrument." - John C. Calhoun

And the John Locke, explaining how to deal with a tyrannical state.

"Whenever the legislators endeavor to take away and destroy the property of the people, or to reduce them to slavery under arbitrary power, they put themselves into a state of war with the people, who are thereupon absolved from any further obedience."
- John Locke

Christian faces death in Afghanistan

2011-02-16T20:12:00.000-08:00

Said Musa is a 45 year old Christian man in Afghanistan who faces death for believing that Jesus Christ is the Son of the Living God. He wrote a letter to Barack Obama, asking for help. There is no one who is willing to be his lawyer in court.

Lord, strengthen, keep, and comfort your servant. Grant him relief, and deliver him from his captors. Amen.

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"The man who follows Christ in solitary mourning is greater than he who praises Christ amid the congregation of men." --St. Isaac of Syria

Atlas Shrugged trailer!

2011-02-13T15:02:00.000-08:00

Looks good.

Switzerland, F**k Yeah!

2011-02-13T13:31:00.000-08:00

Switzerland Rejects Tighter Gun Controls from the BBC

Despite months of biased anti-gun newspaper articles and "research" from "non-profit organizations", the Swiss people declared they will stand for their RKBA. Wonderful. Anyone notice how the Francophone cantons are the ones that voted heavily for stricter victim disarmament measures?

Disappointing, that so many Swiss can buy into the "less guns= less crime" swill.

Man goes on Stabbing Spree in NYC

2011-02-13T13:23:00.000-08:00

Suspect in NYC stabbing spree goes to court

NEW YORK – A man accused of going on a bloody 28-hour rampage through New York City was expected to appear in court Sunday, a day after he was tackled on a subway train by police.

Maksim Gelman, 23, was to be arraigned in Brooklyn Criminal Court in the deaths of four people, including his stepfather, a female acquaintance and her mother, and a complete stranger he ran over with a car, prosecutors said.

A massive manhunt ended Saturday morning after he randomly stabbed a passenger on a train as it passed beneath Times Square. It's not clear if he has an attorney, and it was possible the court hearing could be moved back to Monday.

The violent spree started just after 5 a.m. Friday, when police say Gelman snapped during an argument over the use of his mother's Lexus sedan. His stepfather, Aleksandr Kuznetsov, intervened and was stabbed to death at their apartment in Brooklyn. Police found the 54-year-old's body in his home. His mother was uninjured.

Later that morning, Gelman turned up at the home of a 20-year-old acquaintance, Yelena Bulchenko, and stabbed to death her mother, 56-year-old Anna Bulchenko. When Yelena arrived home at about 4 p.m., she found her mother dead in a pool of blood and called 911. But Gelman was waiting for her there, chased her outside and stabbed her 11 times, authorities said.

He sped away in his mom's car to another part of Brooklyn, where he rear-ended a Pontiac, then stabbed the driver when he confronted Gelman about the crash, police said. The driver was slashed three times in the chest but survived and was stable at an area hospital.

Gelman left the man bleeding on the street and drove off in his Pontiac, but smacked into 62-year-old pedestrian Stephen Tanenbaum, who died from his injuries. He abandoned the car later, engine running, in a private driveway, not far from a freight railroad where he was once caught spray-painting graffiti, said police Commissioner Raymond Kelly.

Police hunted him, but the fugitive disappeared until just before 1 a.m. Saturday, when police say he confronted and stabbed a livery cab driver in Brooklyn, north of where the other incidents occurred. Shortly afterward, he approached a couple in a Nissan, stabbing the man multiple times in the hand before hijacking the car, police said. Both men survived.

Just after 8 a.m. Saturday, passengers on a southbound No. 1 train in upper Manhattan noticed that a man on the train matched photos of Gelman they had seen in newspapers.

One passenger on the train got off at West 96th Street, approached officers on the platform and told them that a man fitting Gelman's description knocked a newspaper out of her hand, saying, "Do you believe what they're writing about me?" according to police

Gelman jumped off the train at the West 34th Street station, crossed the tracks and hopped on a northbound No. 3 train, where he sliced a passenger, the commissioner said.

Officers were in the driver's compartment of the train looking for him on the tracks, when Gelman made his way up to the driver's door and pounded on it, "claiming that he was the police," Kelly said.

One of the officers threw open the door and wrestled Gelman to the ground, knocking the knife from his hand, Kelly said.

The Ukraine-born Gelman and his mother became naturalized U.S. citizens about five years ago, Kelly said. He lived with his family in a predominantly Eastern European section of Brooklyn. Gelman was known to be a troublemaker and has a criminal history, but the arrests were mostly non-violent, for criminal possession of a controlled substance, criminal mischief or graffiti, though some of his arrest records were sealed.

Gelman made some incoherent statements to police after his arrest, including "she had to die," but it's not clear to whom he was referring, Kelly said.

Mayor Bloomberg really has no choice at this point but to ban/regulate cars and knives. Or he could, you know, come to the realization that objects don't cause/control behavior. But methinks that might be asking far too much.

"The Orthodox Way" Chapter Three: God as Creator

2011-02-07T21:00:00.000-08:00

Been reading this book by Bishop Kallistos Ware. I really recommend you pick it up. Doing one chapter a week; reporting on cool things that stand out.

“If nothing compelled God to create, then why did he do so? Insofar as such a question admits of an answer, our reply must be: God’s motive in creation is his love. Rather than say that he created the universe out of nothing, we should say that he created it out of his own self, which is love. We should think, not of God the Manufacturer or of God the Craftsman, but of God the Lover[….] To love means to share, as the doctrine of the Trinity has so clearly shown us: God is not just one but one-in-three, because he is a communion of persons who share love with one another. The circle of divine love, however, has not remained closed. […] By voluntary choice God created the world in love, so that there might be besides himself other beings to participate in the life and love that are his.” –on creatio ex nihilo

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“God alone has the cause and source of his being in himself; all created things have their cause and source, not in themselves, but in him. God alone is self-sourced; all created things are God-sourced, God-rooted, finding their origin and fulfillment in him. God alone is noun; all created things are adjectives.”

-------

“In saying that God is Creator of the world, we do not mean merely that he set things in motion by an initial act ‘at the beginning’, after which they go on functioning by themselves. God is not just a cosmic clockmaker, who winds up the machinery and then leaves it to keep ticking on its own. On the contrary, creation is continual. If we are to be accurate when speaking of creation, we should not use the past tense but the continuous present. We should say, not ‘God made the world, and me in it,’ but ‘God is making the world, and me in it, here and now, at this moment and always.’ Creation is not an event in the past, but a relationship in the present. If God did not continue to exert his creative will at every moment, the universe would immediately lapse into non-being; nothing could exist for a single second if God did not will it to be. As Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow puts it, ‘All creatures are balanced upon the creative word of God, as if upon a bridge of diamond; above them is the abyss of divine infinitude, below them that of their own nothingness.’” – on Deism

-------

“Human beings are not counters that can be exchanged for one another, or replaceable parts of a machine. Each, being free, is unrepeatable: and each, being unrepeatable, is infinitely precious. Human persons are not to be measured quantitatively: we have no right to assume that one particular person is of more value than any other particular person, or that ten persons must necessarily be of more value than one. Such calculations are an offense to authentic personhood. Each is irreplaceable, and therefore each must be treated as an end in his or her self, and never as a means to some further end. Each is to be regarded not as object but as subject.” – on human dignity

I really, really recommend this book.

Stan Lee, You Have Now Redeemed Yourself in my Eyes

2011-02-07T10:40:00.000-08:00

From the DVD commentary of the first Iron Man:

“It was the height of the Cold War. The readers – the young readers – if there was one thing they hated it was war, it was the military, or, as Eisenhower called it, the military-industrial complex. So I got a hero who represented that to the hundredth degree. He was a weapons manufacturer. He was providing weapons for the army. He was rich. He was an industrialist. But he was good-looking guy and he was courageous… I thought it would be fun to take the kind of character that nobody would like – that none of our readers would like – and shove him down their throats and make them like him"

The only thing that would be more awesome is if Tony Stark read "Atlas Shrugged". Dude's practically a Randian hero (rich, good-looking, hated for it), except he doesn't have the misathropic views of Ayn Rand when it comes to charity and-- well, other human beings.

Problem, hippies?

Dostoyevsky on Atheism and Loving Humilty

2011-02-07T10:17:00.000-08:00

The first quote is from Pious Fabrications:

"That science which has become a great power in the last century, has analyzed everything divine handed down to us in the holy books. After this cruel analysis the learned of this world have nothing left of all that was sacred. But they have only analyzed the parts and overlooked the whole, and indeed their blindness is marvelous. Yet the whole still stands steadfast before their eyes, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. Has it not lasted nineteen centuries? Is it not still living, a moving power in the individual soul and in the masses of people? It is still strong and living even in the souls of atheists, who have destroyed everything! For even those who have renounced Christianity and attack it still follow the Christian ideal. And neither their subtlety nor the ardor of their hearts has been able to create a higher ideal of man and of virtue than the ideal given by Christ of old. When it has been attempted, the result has been only grotesque."
--Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov, p. 171

And this second Dostoyevsky quote is from "The Orthodox Way" by Bishop Kallistos Ware:

"At some thoughts a man stands perplexed, above all at the sight of human sin, and he wonders whether to combat it by force or by humble love. Always decide: 'I will combat it by humble love'. If you resolve on that once and for all, you can conquer the whole world. Loving humility is a terrible force: it is the strongest of all things, and there is nothing else like it." --Father Zosima, "The Brothers Karamazov"

It's sitting on my shelf. I really ought to pick it up and read it sometime.

Anti-lifers in a froth over modified and permanent Hyde Amendment

2011-02-01T12:45:00.000-08:00

Washington Post: Legislative proposal puts abortion rights supporters on alert

"The bill, called the No Taxpayer Funding for Abortions Act, would make permanent several provisions that have been law for years but require annual renewal by Congress. It is a top priority of Republican leaders who took control of the House after the November elections.

The most well-known provision that would become permanent under the bill is the Hyde Amendment, which prevents some federally funded health-care programs from covering abortions. For years, it has allowed exemptions in cases of rape and incest, and when the life of the woman is threatened.

Under the proposed language, however, rape becomes "forcible rape." Critics say the modifier could distinguish it from other kinds of sexual assault that are typically recognized as rape, including statutory rape and attacks that occur because of drugs or verbal threats."

And of course this has anti-life types foaming at the mouth. Why, I wonder? No doubt they'll give very impassioned speeches which include the words "women's rights" and "freedom to choose" and other phrases carefully chosen in order to obscure the fact that said "choice" includes the forced death of another human being. But what it all comes down to is taxpayer funding of abortion. That's it. The Republicans (and one Democrat) aren't outlawing abortion; they're pushing it one step closer to going off of "welfare".

Seriously. If you look at the law this is the abortion folks blowing this shit out of proportion. Right now every US taxpayer pays for a doctor to shove a vacuum into a woman's uterus and rip apart a developing human being and suck it up.

Government should not be paying for any of this. If there's a market for it Planned Parenthood should be able to make ends meet. But the truth is they can't. The truth is Planned Parenthood needs to live off the US taxpayer (the REAL parasite in the abortion debate) because their little social eugenics experiment couldn't survive without mountains of federal cash.

"We're too big to fail!" they cry. Well fuck you. I didn't buy it when Goldman Sachs and GM said it. I sure as hell don't buy it when the little Mengeles of PP say it.

I'll go ahead and say this bill doesn't go far enough. All fed funding for abortion should cease.

Book Review: We Are Doomed

2011-01-21T17:00:00.001-08:00

So I read this book about a month or so ago by John Derbyshire called We Are Doomed: Reclaiming Conservative Pessimism. I read it and quite enjoyed it, and promised I'd do a book review.

And then I found this article by the same author-- which just happens to be the article which he later expanded into the full length book. So rather than tell you what I think about the book or to try and reinvent the wheel explaining it, I will link to the article itself.

If you enjoy what you read, by all means pick up We are Doomed by John Derbyshire.

Here.

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." --Thomas Jefferson

Part of the reason for my abortion post earlier...

2011-01-19T20:24:00.000-08:00

Was this.

What's the difference, I'd like to ask the pro-abortion types, between what this guy did and an everyday, common abortion?

A: Location, location, location!

/disgust.

Happy Birthday, Robert E. Lee

2011-01-19T17:40:00.000-08:00

"He was a foe without hate; a friend without treachery; a soldier without cruelty; a victor without oppression, and a victim without murmuring. He was a public officer without vices; a private citizen without wrong; a neighbour without reproach; a Christian without hypocrisy, and a man without guile. He was a Caesar, without his ambition; Frederick, without his tyranny; Napoleon, without his selfishness, and Washington, without his reward."
— Benjamin Harvey Hill of Georgia referring to Robert Edward Lee during an address before the Southern Historical Society in Atlanta, Georgia on February 18, 1874

Happy Birthday to an American Hero.

Margaret Sanger on Abortion and Eugenics

2011-01-19T17:20:00.000-08:00

From the founder of Planned Parenthood herself:

“The most merciful thing that a family does to one of its infant members is to kill it.”

Margaret Sanger (editor). The Woman Rebel, Volume I, Number 1. Reprinted in Woman and the New Race. New York: Brentanos Publishers, 1922.

“Birth control must lead ultimately to a cleaner race.”
Margaret Sanger. Woman, Morality, and Birth Control. New York: New York Publishing Company, 1922. Page 12.

“We should hire three or four colored ministers, preferably with social-service backgrounds, and with engaging personalities. The most successful educational approach to the Negro is through a religious appeal. We don’t want the word to go out that we want to exterminate the Negro population. and the minister is the man who can straighten out that idea if it ever occurs to any of their more rebellious members.”

Margaret Sanger’s December 19, 1939 letter to Dr. Clarence Gamble, 255 Adams Street, Milton, Massachusetts. Original source: Sophia Smith Collection, Smith College, North Hampton, Massachusetts. Also described in Linda Gordon’s Woman’s Body, Woman’s Right: A Social History of Birth Control in America. New York: Grossman Publishers, 1976.

“Eugenic sterilization is an urgent need … We must prevent multiplication of this bad stock.”

Margaret Sanger, April 1933 Birth Control Review.

“Eugenics is … the most adequate and thorough avenue to the solution of racial, political and social problems."

Margaret Sanger. “The Eugenic Value of Birth Control Propaganda.” Birth Control Review, October 1921, page 5.

Absolutely horrendous.

Does anyone take the ATF seriously anymore?

2011-01-03T23:31:00.000-08:00

They shouldn't.

The airsoft folks and the reporter are right-- there isn't any way to turn an airsoft rifle into anything capable of firing a real bullet. What people seem to forget is that a bullet is, in essence, a controlled explosion in your hands directed down a steel tube (specifically built, as is the bolt, chamber, firing pin, etc., for such a purpose). The plastic used in even top-of-the-line airsoft toys is not built to withstand those pressures.

That said, airsoft can be a fine way to train you and your friends in squad tactics, movement, etc. Besides the danger of swinging loaded weapons around a field, forest or building with your friends, there's also the "militia" element. Simply put, if you put on full battle-rattle and brought your FAL or SKS out into the woods to practice fire and manuever tactics, its gonna scare the shit outta some people that don't know any better. But if you do the same with airsoft rifles in hand, people will just look at you odd and go about their business. I will leave my ire for the ATF for another post.

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"The fact is that the average man's love of liberty is nine-tenths imaginary, exactly like his love of sense, justice, and truth. He is not actually happy when free; he is uncomfortable, a bit alarmed, and intolerably lonely. Liberty is not a thing for the great masses of men. It is the exclusive possession of a small and disreputable minority, like knowledge, courage, and honor. It takes a special sort of man to understand and enjoy liberty-- and he is usually an outlaw in democratic societies." -H. L. Mencken

Happy New Year

2010-12-31T20:04:00.000-08:00

It's fast approaching midnight, and a new year. I'm sitting at work listening to people going crazy in the hallways. Gonna have to ask them to keep it down.

Around Thanksgiving most people put together lists of what they're thankful for. I never did. It's not because I'm not thankful; its mostly because I'm lazy. So in addition to one of those "New Years' Resolutions" things, I'll also list what I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for...

-Family. Sure, you get on my nerves sometimes. But God threw us together, and I'm really happy for that.

-Friends. Considering how much of an asshole I can be, I'm surprised I have as many friends as I do. Thanks guys. I know I can be hard to put up with.

-my fellow OPERATORS. Really, it's great to know people that are as crazy right-winger/survivalist/pro-gun as I am. It keeps me grounded.

-I'm thankful for having no debt-- as well as a ton of memories. I'm not sticking with the National Guard thing past my first enlistment, but I'm glad I signed on the dotted line-- and signed for Guard and not active-- all the same.

-For lost friends. If you're reading this, I miss you. Even though it ended the way it did, I'm glad you were an important part of my life. My door is always open.

-Liberty. I know I don't truly understand what that word means, and I'm am living in an age where we do not fully understand the true implications of that word... but I treasure the rights I have, and will fight so my children live freer than I did.

-My wife. I don't know who you are. If you're out there, I miss you. And if you're not, and never will be... I still miss you.

-A God that is willing to take me back again and again despite my excessive failures to follow him. You are the greatest of all Gods.

Now, for some resolutions. In 2011, I will...

-Try to get in better shape.
-Finish building my .308 battle rifle
-Learn to hit a dinner plate sized target from the prone at 600 yards with said .308 battle rifle. With iron sights.
-Get a much school done as I can.
-Learn more carpentry skills.
-Learn how to weld.
-Learn auto repair.
-Read "The Brothers Karamazov".
-Read the Narniad (lolMike), Lord of the Rings, and the Iliad again.
-Finish at least one comic book storyline.
-Set a prayer schedule.
-Perfect a diet that will avoid the intestinal problems I'm developing.
-Raise my GPA.
-Practice my Close Quarters Marksmanship, as well as my long-range marksmanship.
-Learn point shooting with my pistol.
-Start saving money.
-Stock up on food.
-Stock up on more ammo.
-Live a life worthy of my Master.

...and that's about it.

Happy New Years, all.

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"It is the duty of every patriot to defend his country from his government." --Thomas Paine

New Years Musings

2010-12-31T03:20:00.000-08:00

I have standing invitations to no less than three New Years' Eve Parties tomorrow night. I have to gently refuse all of them, because I'm working. Third shift blows, but I can't quit my job in this economy. Also, I have to go into work two hours early tomorrow because my coworker on the 3-11 shift wants off early to be at her NYE party in time. No, they didn't ask me.

*sigh*

Did some rifle and pistol drills today. Also dropped weight-- a big deal for me, since I have issues with it. The high fat/protein/veggies diet seems to be working. Also, fasting Wednesdays and Fridays (no meat, fish, or dairy) is also working out well. I've made it my personal goal to memorize the Nicene Creed, and I'm just about there. Working on a set "personal prayer time". Its hard to do, but setting concrete goals about prayer makes it seem more achievable.

For a lot of prayer stuff, I really have to give credit to "The Jesus Prayer" by Frederica Mathewes-Green. Its got a lot of good advice and tips about setting a prayer time, what/how to pray, etc. Its unbelievable how much depth and power and truth and light are in twelve little words.

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."

Registration is next week. Too bad KCU is Christian in name only these days. Oh well. I'm only trying to finish up to get to Law School. On that note, my GPA needs to be much higher than it is, (and that IS my fault) so prayers are appreciated.

------------

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
Gold is for the mistress -- silver for the maid --
Copper for the craftsman cunning at his trade."
"Good!" said the Baron, sitting in his hall,
"But Iron -- Cold Iron -- is master of them all."
--Rudyard Kipling

On alternate history and veracity

2010-12-28T23:36:00.000-08:00

I've been skimming through threads on alternatehistory.com here lately and there's something that bothers me that I simply have to get off my chest.

In the interest of full disclosure let me begin by saying that I am a big history buff-- and as a result really dig a good alternate history (AH). And let me also say the rant I'm gonna tear off on is not entirely the result of what I've read on AH.com-- it's far more widespread than that.

I really wish there were alternate history authors that dealt seriously with economics and liberty.

Science fiction and fantasty authors-- being creative types, and generally floating around in that ethereal sphere that has jack-all to do with reality-- tend towards liberalism. There are notable exceptions-- Robert Heinlein, Orson Scott Card, and John Ringo come to mind-- but the large majority of scifi/fantasy writers lean to the left side of the spectrum. Many are versed in history; not so many in economics.

Take Harry Turtledove for example. I love Turtledove-- If its got his name on it I'll ususally give it a shot, and he's not all that preachy (As it seems to me. Maybe he does preach, but I'm too dense to notice. Always a possibility). I especially love his "Southern Victory" series-- a timeline where the South wins the War between the States, with all the unintended (and perhaps unlikely) consequences that implies. Now, in order to read his storyline-- and this goes for any author-- you have to follow his basic assumptions, and believe that Lincoln was a good President in a bad situation, that Northern victory was the vindication of the American experiment and the promise of continued "liberty and justice for all", and that if the South had won its independence freedom would have died a slow rotting death and the Confederate experiment would have ended in death camps and genocide. I don't believe any of that, but Turtledove makes it a fun romp anyways, and so I tag along.

In Turtledove's world the two main parties are the Democrat party and the Socialist party (Yeah, you heard me.) The Dems are center-right, and the Socialists center-left. Both are big-government. And boy, it is ever huge. Acoording to one of the WWI novels, the bureaucracy of wartime US mirrors that of Imperial Germany(her ally!)- "permits from the Coal Board; the Meat Board", etc. And in another place, a character mentions that "the Constitution kind of fell to the wayside" post-Civil War, as the USA decided they were going to crush the CSA come hell or high water. The socialists are an anti-war party, at least until the "Second Great War" (WWII). Then they're 100% on board with the US war machine as it grinds invading Confederates into dust in Ohio and Pennsylvania, kills Canadian civilians in retaliation for attacks on US occupiers, butchers rebelling Mormons (who, to be fair, do no small amount of butchering themselves) and later relocates them from Utah...

Its a brutal world. But, apart from the treatment of blacks in the CSA, we see absloutely no indication of what this massive, powerful, dominating government does to its own citizens. If you're not a Canadian, Mormon, or Confederate, the US government leaves you alone. No massive police powers are on display (except in occupied territory), leading one to the conclusion that having a powerless Constitution and a US government that for the last 80 years has seen the US population as cannon fodder for its blood vendetta with Dixieland is perfectly safe and fine, and that such a government wouldn't trample all over its citizens like so much soggy toilet paper on the tile floor of a gas station restroom. Nope, no federal tyranny here!

Another thing is the half-assed approach to economics. "In 1960, President Hubert Humphrey institutes a single-payer national healthcare system for the United States," and that's it. No uproar. No explanation of how such a system would be paid for, no mention of the deterioration of conditions that would occur in a system like the British NHS. It just pisses me off. Alternate history is often fluff and a great deal of the author wanking his preferred side into victory or portraying "the world as its supposed to be". I understand that. But there's no magical alien mineral. No ridiculous new source of wealth to make it feasible. The author just handwaves it away, and I'm left with a huge credibility gap-- coming from a world that is supposed to be ours, but with some changes.

Do a little homework, alternate history authors. You want to create a new world? Figure out how the real one works first. Please.

-------------
+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty." --George Bernard Shaw

NRA getting left in the dust.

2010-08-06T11:17:00.000-07:00

Check out this story from... ABC NEWS!?

Pro-Gun Grassroots Groups Taking the Lead in Gun Rights Fight

You'll note the statistics ABC throws up at the top of the article. Those are lowball estimates. And its good to see a turncoat sellout organization like the NRA getting their due.

Also, in the interest of highlighting greatness, from the comments:

If seeing someone openly carrying a gun makes you nervous there is a good chance it is because it forces you to realize that you have chosen to be helpless. What other magic do you believe in? A gun will magically transform a normal person into a raving maniac, a "Law" will magicallly make violence go away, the police will magically apppear when you need them. Childlike dependance on the actions of someone else for the safety of your self and your family is what the Brady's of the world are promoting, they hope to be the parents but are not up to the job. But they will dance in the blood of their victims to get a paycheck.
Ex-Nuke 11:22 AM

My thoughts on Avatar: The Last Airbender

2010-06-09T09:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, after years of mocking all of this faux-weeaboo Avatar BS, I finally watched it.

...

It's..

..it's..

...pretty good, actually. Maybe not "greatest cartoon of all time", but its definitely up there. Okay. I was wrong. Its not anime, its not stupid, all that jazz. (A little annoyed at the "Teen Titans"-ish moments--exaggerated head sizes, faces, etc.)

I watched the enitre third season in one day. Better than the other seasons. Now for my thoughts-- may be a little random, but bear with me.

-Aang is a cool character (I've noticed I like Messianic heroes and Aang is definitely THAT), and at first I was a bit worried at the season 2/3 junction cause he seemed to be going dark, but it was just good character development.
-Zuko was quickly my favorite character, though who didn't like Iroh right off the bat?
-I totally have a crush on Toph. Tell anyone, and I will kill you.
-Mick Foley voiced The Boulder. (Also, refering to himslef in the third person, heavyweight champion, etc. Genius!)
-The Rock better play the Boulder in Movie two, or I will shed blood. IT'S SO OBVIOUS, YOU'D HAVE TO BE LIVING ON ANOTHER PLANET(Or not be a wrestling fan) TO NOT SEE THE PARALLELS.
-The Hippo fighter was obviously a knockoff of KIng Hippo in Mike Tyson's Super Punch Out! down to the tuft of hair and the four teeth.
-Sokka. I like Sokka, cause he's the average Joe on the team. Good to see he rounded out as a fighter. Also, he made me laugh.
-White Lotus Society. Avatar world has its Freemasons. Clever.
-Ozai is an evil bastard. Mark Hamill was a perfect fit.
-Ron Perlman as Sozin was also an awesome pick.
-It took a little getting used to that the spirit world wasn't Good/Evil but I guess that's because I'm used to a Christian cosmology, whereas this was obviously Eastern Oriented ([Sokka] Get it? GET IT?![/Sokka]). And yes, I'm talking to you giant owl of knowledge. At least be in favor of balance or something.
-Azula is an evil bitch. I like Ty Lee though. Why does she stick around?
-I noticed it pulled from a lot of non-Western Cultures. Could Avatar do an ancient greece? I know its a Western heritage thing, but enough people are ignorant enough that you put some hoplites in armor, helmets up and make them travel across the earth kingdom and no one would be the wiser.
-On that-- I wouldn't have minded seeing Persians, or Phoenicians.
-End of Season 2. Zuko, I am fucking disappoint.
-The Face Stealer creeped me the hell out.
-Katara. Obviously there to be Aang's love interest, though not without her own development. Only waterbender left in the SWT? I thought anybody could be a bender, you simply needed work at it hard enough(Like the classic Idea of the Jedi Knights)
-Katara's revenge episode seemed to be thrown in at the last minute.
-Aang shoulda killed Ozai. I know you're a pacifist (Vegetarian? I guess that's why you're so skinny- malnourishment and all that. Also, Tibetan, and I suppose that makes sense.) kid, but c'mon. the other Avatars were right. And some people need killing.
-Spiritbending was a Deus Ex Machina, inserted to give Aang an out. Kudos on rejecting what everyone wants and going your own way, I guess.
-Lion Turtle didn't fit, to me.

-I'm surprised Avatar:TLA hasn't been banned in China. Tibetan hero, the Han China expy (Ba Sing Se) being run by a Secret Police that brainwash, kill, and manipulate? It screamed PRC to me, anyways. And considering that this is the same gov't that is putting pressure on archaeologists in the Gobi Desert b/c they found Celtic graves (which contradicts official policy that the Han Chinese have always ruled the area, and no other ethnic groups have ever had a claim there),
hey'd probably not take to well to an Epic hero who was designed off a culture they are actively subjugating and seeking to stamp out. Figured they'd ban the damn thing.

So rip my observations apart if you want, I'm done.

----------------------
+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it."-Albert Einstein

"Repeal the 17th Amendment?" Gene Healy, Washington Examiner.

2010-06-09T08:03:00.000-07:00

An Op-Ed from the Washington Examiner, detailing the increasing amount of people who are talking about repealing the 17th Amendment.

Here.

Thanks to the wonderfully impertinent Tea Partiers, that 1913 "reform" is no longer just the stuff of trivia -- it recently made headlines in House and Senate races.

Two Republican nominees for House seats -- Ohio's Steve Strivers and Idaho's Raul Labrador -- have expressed sympathy for repeal. And Tim Bridgewater, one of two Tea Party candidates who last month knocked off sitting Sen. Robert Bennett, R-Utah, argues that "if the states elected their senators, legislative monstrosities like ObamaCare or [No Child Left Behind], with their burdensome mandates, would never see the light of day."

Of course, the Statists exhibit massive butt-hurt at the idea of checks and balances:

Of all the "goofy ideas from those lovable wacky Tea Partyers [sic]," John Aloysius Farrell writes at USNews.com, this is the "stupidest." Repeal talk is "truly regressive," even "Paleolithic," Timothy Egan seethes in Sunday's New York Times.

Apparently, the only thing worse than peasants with pitchforks is peasants with pocket Constitutions.

Read it all.

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"Freedom of the press, freedom of association, the inviolability of domicile, and all the rest of the rights of man are respected so long as no one tries to use them against the privileged class. On the day they are launched against the privileged they are thrown overboard."
-- Prince Peter Kropotkin - "Anarchism" (1884)

Been gone for awhile.

2010-06-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

But that's just cause I was busy. I haven't forgotten this blog, nor will I allow it-- despite my venting-- to turn into my personal blog. I suppose the occasional lurker might stumble onto this page, and I want them to be entertained by what they see. So I'll begin some blog posts about random stuff.

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"To be ignorant of what occurred before you were born, is to remain always a child. For what is the worth of human life, unless it is woven into the life of our ancestors by the records of history?" -Marcus Tullus Cicero

Random Venting

2010-04-06T06:17:00.000-07:00

So I finally worked up the courage to mail a birthday card that I've had in my posession for a month now to a wonderful little boy whom I care for very much. But why do I have this queasy, hard lump in my stomach? Why do I feel like the other shoe is about to drop?

Answer: Because that same wonderful little boy's mother is my ex-best friend. And she loathes the very thought of me. If I were burning in hell and complained of thirst, she would hand me a tall glass of gasoline.

I know, even as I write this, that it wasn't really anything I did. Yeah, trying to block her status updates from my facebook homepage backfired. (I didn't know that "blocking" removes that person from your friend's list. Caveat emptor.) And I'm not pure as the driven snow in all this either. But she changed. She chose this path. She had two lives open to her- one of temporary pain and momentary self-denial, but eventual triumph and gladness; and one of self-centeredness and temporary happiness, but eventual emptiness and disappointment- and she chose the latter.

For my part, I recognize that she has pushed me out of her life forever. And while I regret what happened, I know that those last few months I didn't really care for her at all. The last time I saw her in person, she was positively bubbly. (I thought- selfishly- that it was because she got to see me. But now I know it was because the "addict" had her "fix" back at home. I forgive her, and I still pray for her.) I saw that day through the lies she was throwing at me- about us hanging out, etc. And later, when I found out her ex-husband had hit her, I felt terrible because I wasn't angry. My first thought was "Well, what did you do to deserve it?"

I didn't love her with Christ's love. And mine was spent. I still love her, because now I have Christ's love. I forgive her for all the wrongs she has committed against me- all the lies and manipulations and deceptions. And I pray to be forgiven my thoughts and my anger. We are all sinners. But we are redeemed if we accept to be.

Some days I'm hurt. but most days I just miss her.

---------------------
+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"An armed society is a polite society.
Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life."
~Robert A. Heinlein

"Will America Break Up?" from the Washington Times

2010-04-05T06:11:00.000-07:00

by Jeffrey T. Kuhner. Article here.
--------------------

"President Obama is splintering America. The passage of Obamacare was a historic victory for liberal governance. Yet, its true cost may be that it triggers the eventual breakup of the country.

Mr. Obama has achieved what his liberal predecessors - Franklin D. Roosevelt, Lyndon B. Johnson, Bill Clinton - could only dream of: nationalized health care. Obamacare signifies the government take-over of one-sixth of the U.S. economy. It has dealt a mortal blow to traditional America. We are now a European-style socialist welfare state. The inevitable permanent tax hikes, massive public bureaucracy and liberal ruling elites will stifle competition and initiative.

Republicans vow to repeal Obamacare. Their past record, however, leaves many conservatives rightly skeptical. Since FDR's New Deal, Big-Government liberalism has been on the march - Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, the Environmental Protection Agency and the U.S. Department of Education. The Republican Party has been unable to roll back the tide of statism. In fact, under Richard Nixon and both George Bushes, Great Society Republicans have been complicit in erecting a nanny state.

Socialism is the road to economic ruin and fiscal bankruptcy. It subverts democracy, threatening the very future of our constitutional republic. Socialist states degenerate into some form of autocracy or technocratic neo-feudalism, whereby the productive class is taxed and exploited to sustain a growing dependent class. Factions are pitted against each other; groups vie for handouts at the expense of their fellow citizens. The bonds of economic union and national solidarity slowly dissolve.

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not," warned Thomas Jefferson.

Jefferson was right: Redistributionist welfare policies are undermining our democracy. The resentments in America are growing. Tea Partiers believe that their government no longer represents their interests or values. The heartland is becoming dangerously alienated from the political class, whom it feels has betrayed them.

Obamacare may be the last straw. It strips away fundamental economic liberties, empowering the federal government to de facto nationalize everyone's body by controlling our health. Americans are compelled - upon pain of penalty and eventual imprisonment - to purchase insurance.

Moreover, the law codifies the federal funding of abortion. Taxpayer dollars will be used to subsidize the murder of innocent life. Hence, Mr. Obama has violated the social compact: He has abrogated the conscience of pro-lifers, making them tacitly complicit in the slaughter of the unborn. Obamacare is a radical assault upon fundamental religious freedoms.

The Obama revolution threatens to tear America apart. This has happened before. Slavery eventually triggered the Civil War between the industrial North and the agrarian South. Abortion is the slavery of our time - the denying of basic human rights to an entire category of people.

The bitter debate over Obamacare has exposed the country's profound divisions. We are no longer one nation or one people. Rather, there are now two Americas: one conservative, the other liberal. Increasingly, we no longer just disagree but we despise each other.

Our disagreements encompass everything - politics, morality, culture and history. We no longer share a unifying essence or common values. One half of America believes abortion is an abomination; the other half considers any attempt to repeal it as oppressive and sexist. One half opposes homosexual unions because it elevates immoral and unnatural behavior to the sacred status of marriage; the other half supports it as an extension of civil rights. One half reviles Mr. Obama's socialist agenda, viewing it as the destruction of capitalism and our constitutional government; the other half embraces it as the culmination of social justice and economic equality. One half reveres America's heroes - Christopher Columbus, George Washington, James Madison, Davy Crockett - and its glorious history; the other half is ashamed of its past, seeing it as characterized by racism, imperialism and chauvinism.

Ultimately, a country is not simply its geographical borders with the people inside of it. It is something more - and deeper. A nation must share a common heritage, language, culture, faith and myths. Once upon a time, Americans celebrated the same heroes, sang the same patriotic songs, read the same history and literature, and gloried in its exceptional nature: a city upon a hill, with liberty and freedom for all. It was understood that, for all of our different ethnic and religious backgrounds, America is a product of English and Christian civilization. Those days are long gone.

Instead, we are going the way our Founding Fathers warned us against: increasing balkanization and sectionalism. A constitutional republic - unlike an empire - is only as strong as its national cohesion. It is based not on imperial coercion but civic consent. Mr. Obama is recklessly pulling at the strings of unity, further polarizing us.

In confronting Obamacare, state sovereignty, states' rights and state nullification of federal laws are being asserted. This is what happened in the 1830s and 1840s. They are the signs of growing political anarchy and social frustration - people can only be pushed so far. Mr. Obama's drive for a socialist super-state threatens America's very existence. As Jefferson warned about slavery, it is time we start ringing the "fire bell in the night."

"Things fall apart; the center cannot hold," wrote William Butler Yeats. "Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world."

Conservatives will not be passive in this onslaught on all our core values. Mr. Obama's true legacy may be that he divides us deeper than ever before - unless he abandons his revolutionary project."

A few personal points: firstly, I do not see the reemphasis on state's rights as a sign of "growing political anarchy". Social Frustration? Yes. But not anarchy. Many Americans forget that the United States was initially supposed to be a Union of sovereign states. And it worked quite well under the Articles of Confederation-- it was only the frustration of certain members of the founding generation who wanted a strong central government that we even got the curent Constitution. Even after its ratification in 1787, many of the Jeffersonian Republicans recognized the power of the States as being a check against an out of control central government.

The only regret, in my mind, is that it took the Federal government acting to seize a significant portion of the American economy before we woke up.

And it seems that more and more people are recognizing the parallels between slavery and abortion. The greatest weakness, in my mind, of Americans is that we find it very easy to relegate other groups to the status of "non-persons". The Cherokee, on the trail of tears. African slaves. The Japanese-Americans in WWII. And now the unborn. When it is convenient- or when it benefits us- we can ignore the humanity and dignity possessed by others and simply sweep them aside.

We slaughtered each other once, over state's rights and the status of a group of people who could not speak for themselves. Perhaps we shall do it again. Only this time, instead of the moral high ground being occupied by the two nations called "America", only one side will carry the twin banners of Liberty and Righteousness.

And its not yours, Mr. President.

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+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
Fire, water, and government know nothing of mercy. – Albanian Proverb

Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death- 235 years ago...

2010-03-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was, someone pointed out to me, the 235th anniversary of Patrick Henry's well-known speech to the Virginia House of Burgesses. In the interest of American history- and my political sensibilities- I am pleased to reproduce the entire thing. (Thanks Mike!)

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Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death

Patrick Henry, March 23, 1775.

"No man thinks more highly than I do of the patriotism, as well as abilities, of the very worthy gentlemen who have just addressed the House. But different men often see the same subject in different lights; and, therefore, I hope it will not be thought disrespectful to those gentlemen if, entertaining as I do opinions of a character very opposite to theirs, I shall speak forth my sentiments freely and without reserve. This is no time for ceremony. The questing before the House is one of awful moment to this country. For my own part, I consider it as nothing less than a question of freedom or slavery; and in proportion to the magnitude of the subject ought to be the freedom of the debate. It is only in this way that we can hope to arrive at truth, and fulfill the great responsibility which we hold to God and our country. Should I keep back my opinions at such a time, through fear of giving offense, I should consider myself as guilty of treason towards my country, and of an act of disloyalty toward the Majesty of Heaven, which I revere above all earthly kings."

"Mr. President, it is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of that siren till she transforms us into beasts. Is this the part of wise men, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for liberty? Are we disposed to be of the number of those who, having eyes, see not, and, having ears, hear not, the things which so nearly concern their temporal salvation? For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst, and to provide for it."

"I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past. And judging by the past, I wish to know what there has been in the conduct of the British ministry for the last ten years to justify those hopes with which gentlemen have been pleased to solace themselves and the House. Is it that insidious smile with which our petition has been lately received? Trust it not, sir; it will prove a snare to your feet. Suffer not yourselves to be betrayed with a kiss. Ask yourselves how this gracious reception of our petition comports with those warlike preparations which cover our waters and darken our land. Are fleets and armies necessary to a work of love and reconciliation? Have we shown ourselves so unwilling to be reconciled that force must be called in to win back our love? Let us not deceive ourselves, sir. These are the implements of war and subjugation; the last arguments to which kings resort. I ask gentlemen, sir, what means this martial array, if its purpose be not to force us to submission? Can gentlemen assign any other possible motive for it? Has Great Britain any enemy, in this quarter of the world, to call for all this accumulation of navies and armies? No, sir, she has none. They are meant for us: they can be meant for no other. They are sent over to bind and rivet upon us those chains which the British ministry have been so long forging. And what have we to oppose to them? Shall we try argument? Sir, we have been trying that for the last ten years. Have we anything new to offer upon the subject? Nothing. We have held the subject up in every light of which it is capable; but it has been all in vain. Shall we resort to entreaty and humble supplication? What terms shall we find which have not been already exhausted? Let us not, I beseech you, sir, deceive ourselves. Sir, we have done everything that could be done to avert the storm which is now coming on. We have petitioned; we have remonstrated; we have supplicated; we have prostrated ourselves before the throne, and have implored its interposition to arrest the tyrannical hands of the ministry and Parliament. Our petitions have been slighted; our remonstrances have produced additional violence and insult; our supplications have been disregarded; and we have been spurned, with contempt, from the foot of the throne! In vain, after these things, may we indulge the fond hope of peace and reconciliation. There is no longer any room for hope. If we wish to be free-- if we mean to preserve inviolate those inestimable privileges for which we have been so long contending--if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged, and which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until the glorious object of our contest shall be obtained-- we must fight! I repeat it, sir, we must fight! An appeal to arms and to the God of hosts is all that is left us!"

"They tell us, sir, that we are weak; unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be the next week, or the next year? Will it be when we are totally disarmed, and when a British guard shall be stationed in every house? Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot? Sir, we are not weak if we make a proper use of those means which the God of nature hath placed in our power. The millions of people, armed in the holy cause of liberty, and in such a country as that which we possess, are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us. Besides, sir, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just God who presides over the destinies of nations, and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us. The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. Besides, sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Boston! The war is inevitable--and let it come! I repeat it, sir, let it come."

"It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace-- but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"

I think we all too often forget, safe and snug in our simple, easy lives, that Liberty is a dangerous idea. And our Founders were dangerous men.

Faith, Charity, and The Atheist

2010-03-21T00:16:00.000-07:00

An interesting article by Miguel A. Guanipa over at American Thinker.

Read it all.

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+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money."
-Margaret Thatcher

An Apology For Liberty

2010-03-19T05:47:00.000-07:00

A brief explanation for this note. I recently posted a note, entitled "A *Very Serious* Warning to Nancy Pelosi" that I found elsewhere on the 'net. One of the comments on my note asked me if I was advocating overthrow of the current government. This long-winded spiel was my reply, but quickly took on a life of its own. I reproduce my answer here, in its entirety.

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I would answer that question with a question: If an elected government-- such as this one-- took an oath to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States-- which they did-- and to represent the people of the various regions that elected them- which they did-- then proceeded to, once in office, break that oath and not only not represent the very citizens that elected them, but instead pass bills which would deprive those same citizens of their Life, Liberty, and Property, while at the same time forever exempting themselves from it, what should be the logical outcome? The rational response?

I think that we shouldn't wait until November. We should remove them now. The world will not end simply because Congress is not there to exercise her imperial power-- given how often the Hill goes into recess and on vacations, this is blatantly obvious. If it makes you feel better, simply think of it as an 'extended recess'. Such an act would serve to cow the President and the Supreme Court-- they would watch their step in the months immediately following, I think.

And yes, it would likely have to be at gunpoint. But that only makes sense. Brutes only understand force; besides, has the Federal government not used force in the past against her own citizens to ensure compliance? The Whiskey Rebellion. Nullification. The Civil War. The Bonus Army of 1932. Waco.

Is not the Federal Government's very existence predicated on the threat of force? Take this healthcare bill for example. Among other things, it mandates federal funds be used to pay for abortions. What if a concerned group of pro-lifers decide that, until its repeal or amendment, they will not pay federal taxes. A noble stand- and one in line with their conscience. Martin Luther King and Mahatma Ghandi would be proud. What will the Federal Government do, if repeal is not "in the cards"?

They will demand these people pay their taxes.

When refused, they will arrest them.

If a select few refuse to allow themselves to be arrested, they will be killed.

"Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force." George Washington would have good reason to know. He fought a government that abandoned all pretense of 'sweet reasonableness' and instead, sought to crush those who would not comply into dust. And though our ancestors won for themselves a new government, that maxim still rang true. Ask the farmers of Pennsylvania, brutally suppressed by President Washington and their former comrades-in-arms during the aforementioned Whiskey Rebellion.

"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty." -Thomas Jefferson.

The entire reason that we are where we are in American history is because the self-proclaimed elites do not fear the citizenry. They violate the Constitution without a second's hesitation, because they know we will whine and cry and complain, but we will comply.

It is the reason Nancy Pelosi can ask "Are you serious?" when a reporter asks her what part of the Constitution gives government the authority to mandate and regulate healthcare. It is the reason George W. Bush can say "The Constitution is a God-****ed piece of paper!" in a cabinet meeting and get away with it.

All this because "we the people" have abdicated our authority to hold our elected representatives accountable. We slept, or found more exciting and pleasurable pursuits to occupy ourselves with. And while we- and our parents and their parents and *their parents*- nodded off, criminals and jackals took over our nation. The only way we can restore the sanctity of the Constitution is through the counter-threat of force. Only when it is understood that Americans value our Life, Liberty, and Property so highly that we are willing to spill blood to keep it will these assaults on us cease.

Those in Washington may perhaps get back in line. But first they must fear us. Yes, fear is the basest motivator. We would earnestly prefer that Love- for their fellow man, and for the founding principles of this nation- would motivate those in power. And if not love, then at least Reason, it is hoped, would inform their actions. But when these two are not in evidence- when those who dwell in DC mock the former and shun the latter- fear is the only motivator left to us. Every Congressperson should remain painfully aware throughout their term of public service that if they trespass against the Bill of Rights, there is a short trip to the capital steps and a rope in their future. Every judge must make rulings with the knowledge that, if he stretches the words of the Constitution beyond their intent, he may not make it home from work that evening-- if he even makes it to his car in the parking lot.

Nullification- as is being discussed in several states- will likely fail. The threat of force will close this avenue off from us. Same with peaceful secession. It would only remain peaceful until the first tanks roll across that state's border. Again, they threaten force. "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible make violent revoultion inevitable," in the words of John F. Kennedy.

Ending a life- even that of a murderer or a tyrant- is a huge step, a threshold crossed. (It is similar to losing one's own virginity, or of baptism-- not to say that those are as wicked as killing, or that killing is as righteous as those two acts can be. Please don't misunderstand me. I believe that when one takes a life, there is a massive "point-of-no return". It is a deed which has physical and spiritual consequences. It is only my failure of imagination that keeps me from providing better illustrations.) It should not be taken lightly. Looking at the long train of abuses and usurpations that mark our history, I believe it has not been taken lightly. Longsuffering- in the most literal sense of that term- has characterized the conduct of the American people in all of her dealings with government. But for how much longer? There is also a "point of no-return" where our liberties are concerned. There will come a day when it is too late to pull our freedoms from the jaws of our would-be masters. Some I know argue that day was decades ago. I disagree. I believe it is fast-approaching, but it is not yet arrived.

If we wish to postpone the day of blood-spilling, we must stand now. But even as we vote for the GOP (who has never once repealed unconstitutional government programs- and has often enacted their own) and scream at the willingly-deaf media, we must prepare for the day when our lawsuits and appeals fail, when neither party listens to us.

"A slave is one who waits for someone to come and free him." -Ezra Pound

In the struggle for liberty there is a series of battle lines. The front line of defense is the soap box. The second is the ballot box. The penultimate line is the jury box. When these fail us, our "last-stand" trench is the cartridge box. In this healthcare debate, we have been driven out of the first and are regrouping at the second, which has never worked for us before. No government program which deprives us of that which is rightfully ours (Social Security, Medicare, NFA of 1934, the PATRIOT ACT) has ever been repealed, save Prohibition. Perhaps this time will be different. But I doubt it. The jury box... Will the Surpeme Court stop it? Unlikely. What purpose would one branch of the Federal Government have for restraining another? They, like Congress and the executive, are exempt from this bill. Any expansion of Federal power is a silent expansion of theirs. We can hope- and I do hope that it will be stopped. But, to quote one libertarian writer, "I'd *love* to hear your backup plan!"

Most Americans don't have one, and don't care to have one. But they are, as they always have been-- as they were in the first American Revolution-- mere furniture, to be maneuvered around. (Did you know that of the 1/3rd of colonists who supported revolution, only 3% of them ever bore arms against the forces of George III?) They will sit around, and wring their hands, and perhaps make noble or submissive noises, but in the end they will do nothing, and will accept whatever future is placed before them. But for those who love liberty, righteous force must be the backup plan. So it was for our founding generation, and so it must be for us.

Pray then, that it will not come to violence. Act, so that it might not. But prepare, so when it becomes apparent that all our actions are for naught (as I believe they will be), you can go to your closet, pull out your battle rifle (or lever-action or bolt-action or carbine), and-- with a heart heavy over what must transpire but a conscience clear with the knowledge that you have already exhausted all other reasonable alternatives-- prove with your actions the love of liberty that you have professed with your mouth.

"Live Free or Die. Death is not the worst of Evils."

A Dream...

2010-03-14T06:20:00.000-07:00

He wouldn’t say he liked the desert. It was more an issue of acclimatization than anything else. He had spent so much of his adult life in the desert, both in the waking world and here, that it almost seemed wrong not to be in the wastes. Abundant vegetation, laughter and rain—they often felt like the place that wasn’t real; the false world. Hadn’t he felt that way in the other place- in his waking life—when he got home from that world’s deserts? Seeing the prosperity and the plenty, the ease and the sheeplike security, all the while knowing that in the real world, blood was spilled and water was sparse and killing over power and women and food seemed not just the right thing to do, but sometimes the only thing?

Yeah, he had. But that was before waking up—the spiritual awakening, that is. Now he realized, as he stood in that familiar place, that the desert was far larger and more expansive than its appearance in the physical world. The wastes didn’t stop at borders or climates here. It stretched endlessly across time and space, spreading across the distance between souls and winding deeply into the crevices of each human heart.

The world was a wasteland; a great endless track of no-life, sorrow and suffering, only broken by brief oases of love where the master had dug his wells and planted water. He was at home in the desert, that one, moving from heart to heart like a nomad. The master had once been a gardener—is a gardener, the man corrected himself—but mankind had chosen the desert of misery over the incensed gardens of joy. So the master had put up his banquet clothes and put on the robes of a wanderer.

He became a desert God, as full of power and as incomprehensible as a sandstorm. And even when he began bringing light and life to the dead places, he did not cease to claim the wilderness as his own, but instead made it his temple, his classroom. In the midday gloom he taught man faith. In the dead expanses he preached that there was no life apart from him. In the sting of parched throats he proclaimed living water.

The Israelites… John the Baptist… Paul… Christ Himself. In the wilderness they were led to test themselves against the rugged wilds, to learn what the world really looked like. And sometimes still, the master led modern men into the desert to teach them his ways. The man shifted onto one foot, and thought about his desert journeys. One test he failed, from weakness as much as failure to realize the test. The second one was ongoing, and even as he struggled, he knew this place would be an inseparable part of him—that he would look back on this wilderness of the soul as a time where he gained the strength to face… whatever it was that future him was facing.

Others, he knew, were in the desert. But they were mad with the delusion. They lay out in the deadly sun, thanking a non-existent tree for the shade; They chewed upon the rocks and the sand declaring it the feast of life itself. All the world was waste, and they cursed the tiny islands of green they encountered as if by cursing they could burn those oases to the ground on command. It was a matter of perception, but it was also a matter of reality. The master wanted to dig a well for them, but they insisted from between cratered lips and with croaking speech that they were not thirsty. So he would move on. He would return, again and again, until they died. And then he would bury them in tears, bathing their graves with the precious liquid they refused to let him give them in life.

The man waited as a figure topped a nearby dune and came towards him. The figure was clothed in tatters and robes, the ever-pervasive dust dyeing once-white cloth into the sandy tints of the place which he had chosen to dwell. He had a waterskin and a bag tied on him, and dangling at his side was a rude shovel, the cord at its handle’s end looped over one shoulder. A hood shielded his head from the sun. He approached the waiting man and smiled. His face was leathery, and sand was crusted in the creases of his face.

“Hello,” The newcomer said, his tone that of greeting an old friend. “Come here to think?” The waiting man nodded. “Yes. I think I’ve grown used to it. The desert, I mean.” The wanderer shook his head. “That’s a dangerous thing to say. I’ve been here from the very beginning, and I’ve never gotten used to it. This is not where man is supposed to be. But I understand what you mean. And as long as you recognize the danger of this place, you should be fine.” The waiting man looked off into the distance. “There’s a clarity here I can’t quite get while I’m awake,” he began, and stopped. After a moment, he continued, “I think I come here because this is where you taught me so much. And I want to be near that, to feel that security.” He hung his head. “I don’t want to fail you again.” The wanderer dropped his tools and reached up to touch him on the shoulder. “You know I don’t count that against you. Not anymore. And you need to remember that it isn’t a “points” game. I don’t care how many times you’ve failed in the past. I only care that you succeed—now, and in the future. You keep to me, and you will. I’ve given you everything you need.”

The waiting man looked at the wanderer and smiled. “Thanks. Sorry for wasting your time.” The wanderer stopped in the midst of gathering up his things. “It’s never a waste of my time.” His robes flapped in the hot wind. “None of you ever are.” The wanderer turned to leave, then stopped and called back over his shoulder. “Was there something else?” The waiting man realized as tears filled his eyes that there was. “Father, I have friends out there in the desert. I want them back,” he blurted, even as he realized it was selfish of him to say that. The master looked back, tears smearing the dirt into tracks of salty mud on his cheeks. “So do I,” he said, then smiled and patted the shovel. He walked back into the wasteland, leaving the man to return to his waking life, but not alone.

A Challenge: Make Voyager Good

2010-03-10T23:39:00.000-08:00

I was on Rumbles, and noticed that there was a thread with this title on it. Now, as you know, Star Trek: Voyager was quite possibly one of the worst shows of all time-- with a few good moments. It was the "Twilight" of Star Trek shows. So the idea of making a good show out of the what is an interesting and workable premise intrigued me. Here's my shot:

Of couse, I strated from scratch-- first by removing the murdering, morally autistic Captain Janeway.

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First, make Voyager not a scout ship, but a larger cruiser. Poor engines, not very fast, but tough and beefed-up. They have to destroy the caretaker array-- they travel for awhile, making allies (In no small part to the new Captain and First officer-- the Captain is a bit of a hot head, but Number one compliments him perfectly-- being a calm, able negotiator and diplomat.) Then, their engines start to fail. Like, irreversible failure. According to the engineer, Something happened with the array-- it introduced instabilities into the structure of the warp core itself. They've got weeks of warp power left. After that, well, it will be the galaxy's most expensive paperweight.

So then the scramble begins to find a suitable Class- M planet. They manage, but its inhabited by a dwindling race that used to travel the stars; their empire didn't collaspe, it just fizzled out. Their population is way past the sustainment rate, and falling. The welcome the new visitors, saying "We're on our way out. You can have this planet when we're gone-- and until then, you'll give us comfort in our final hours" etc. Some of the crew want to go home, but they realize its pretty well impossible and, in classic Federation fashion, have a generally optimistic outlook on this "adventure"-- after all, when you sign up for Starfleet, you're saying "I wanna boldly go": and building a society on the other side of the universe is pretty bold. The First officer starts by managing the minutiae and day-by-day stuff; and soon finds herself pretty much de facto laeder of the new society. Eventually they have elections, and she is chosen as Prime minister. The Captain- more out of inertia than anything else- runs against her, and ends up in her cabinet. He quits after a year.

They begin using the tech on this planet to replicate all the materials needed to build shelters, factories, farming, etc. The ship stays in orbit, running on impulse power, with a rotated skeleton crew every 90 days. Its purpose is trading post/star fort/space station, though the trading post role gets filled up in a few years when some new immigrants bring along their engineering skills.

Ah, the immigrants. There's a trickle at first-- Voyager picked up quite few their first year and a half traveling, as many hands make for light work. When the Starfleet ship settled down, others began arriving. Soon the trickle becomes a flood, as thousands of refugees, entrepreneurs, and other free spirits show up to make what they can of this new society. No space communism here; the only system that has any hope of working is a free-wheeling, barely regulated free-market, in which anything of value is currency. Issues arise with some of the ex-Starfleet types; Most manage to dive in with both feet and keep their head above water, some—having been disarmed by a lifetime of “For the Greater Good” silliness back in Federation space, can’t compete and begin to complain—these types coalesce with a small group of elitists who resent the newcomers. They call for a stronger central government, a control on immigration, and for this new government to pay them the pension- or its equivalent in wealth- due them by Starfleet at their retirement.

Also at this time begin the first stirrings of discontent among the original inhabitants of the planet. You see, they thought they were on the way out, so it really didn’t matter if these lost Federation types wanted asylum- in a few generations it would be their planet, whole and entire. But then something odd happened: The dying species- Lets call them the “Elves”- the Elves saw all this creativity and what not happening in front of them and rather than spending their time in sad contemplation and singing dirges to their lost race, started to get up and interact. And they found that their lust for life, for glory and adventure, was still there ready to be kicked into a steady flame. So the younger elves especially want to get in on this Federation thing. But the elders resent this. They were supposed to die with dignity. How many races get the chance to expire in a fashion that isn’t genocide or degeneration into barbarian savagery or self-annihilation? Furthermore, there’s a whole slew of lesser races invited in by these Feddies. How dare they? Is our beautiful homeworld, cradle and casket of the Elvish race, to become a polyglot paradise?

There’s a local bully, around this time- perhaps the Kazon?- who is terrorizing nearby systems. Stories are told by the refugees. At first, most Feddies- except a militant faction led by Captain Robards- want to stay out of it. But soon the stories- told by their neighbors, friends, and eventually wives and husbands- prick the conscience of the Alpha Quadrant types. So an ad hoc fleet is assembled—the parliament, mostly Starfleet types who can’t fend for themselves in the new society, hence the time in politics- vote the Captain to be fleet commander. They sally forth, and whip the Kazon something fierce. Almost overnight the Captain goes from being mostly irrelevant to local hero, and returns to take up the mantle as “The Hero of Karne Expanse.” A series of local planets submit requests to join the newcomers, and the “Confederacy of Worlds” is born. There are series of overhauls in government, and they end up sticking with a parliamentary system of government, with local worlds being almost autonomous—save for being unable to declare war or make treaties, etc. That’s the job of the Confederacy.

Number one is still the Prime Minister. But the Captain is enjoying his newfound fame, and undermining her at every turn. She is exasperated. Doesn’t he realize that she is trying to get this thing off the ground? Yet he shakes hands with the “Alpha-Firsts”, the “Restorationists”, and what’s more, the newcomers don’t seem to care! They too are enamored of the “Hero of the Karne Expanse”! Slowly, their once strong friendship—to the point that when the re-settled the crew had a running bet on when the Captain and the First Officer were going to become an item-- begins to dissolve.

Will they survive? I dunno.

Season Two: The election, and the building of the subspace array. Whispers of secession.

----------

Would you watch it?

------------------

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
The desire to rule is the mother of heresies. – St. John Chrysostom

Writing....

2010-03-09T12:53:00.000-08:00

So I'm working on my superhero stories. Question: How cool would it be to see a superhero fighting his foe, while at the same time unravelling his entire worldview? I think it'd be pretty stinking cool.

Obama's "Job Loss" Chart

2010-03-07T08:13:00.000-08:00

Alright. The Obama adminstration has released a chart showing how The One's economic plan is reviving the economy, blah, blah, blah...

Not quite. This is the chart, provided by the Labor Dept.

Now pay attention, cause they play a little bit of a game here. This is not the number of total jobs lost, but rather a month-by-month play of the number of jobs lost, using 2007 as a baseline. It's a "difference" deal, not a "total" deal.
Here's the exact same data, graphed as the total number of jobs lost over that same amount of time:

That's what the total numbers look like, before being played with by the Administration.

Also remember concerning that first chart, that there are a finite number of jobs-- only because there are a finite number of Americans-- and as more and more people become unemployed, there will be less available to become unemployed. Also, businesses usually jettison the most "expendable" jobs first, and then suck it up and try to get by with the minimum number of employees necessary to stay afloat. As the number of "expendable" jobs decreases, there are less people to fire. Doesn't mean these folks are getting new employment. (The official and unofficial unemployment numbers beg to differ with this chart.)Then again, this chart is emailed to supporters on the President's "Organizing for America" email list-- the kind of people who aren't gonna question all the pretty colors and fonts.

-------------------

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it."
~ Thomas Jefferson

The Philosophy of Liberty

2010-03-05T03:59:00.001-08:00

A pretty sweet video on YouTube that very succinctly breaks down Libertarian principles. Eight minutes, and you'll understand a comprehensive liberty worldview!

Best line? "Virtue is only possible in a world where there is free choice."
How true.

Reading Acts

2010-03-03T10:54:00.000-08:00

Chapter three- specifically; the story where Peter restores the lame man's ability to walk. I don't know about anyone else, but I squealed like a nerd getting a sneak peek at the newest Star Trek movie when Peter did that. And to think- this was the same man who denied and abandoned his Savior and best friend a month and a half before.

Kinda leaves one in awe of God, huh?

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"But Peter said, 'I do not possess silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene--walk!'

And seizing him by the right hand, he raised him up; and immediately his feet and his ankles were strengthened."

New name...

2010-03-03T07:31:00.000-08:00

Changed the top bit of the blog, as well as changed the name. Waterproof Shirt was a bit silly and contrived. I like it.

The title (and the image on the right) refers to Athanasius, an important early church father who took on Arius and his popular doctrines, especially the teaching that Jesus was not "homousia"- "of the same substance"- as the Father. Essentially, Arius taught something similar to what modern day Jehovah's Witnesses believe. That Jesus, while a god, was not "the" God.

In response, Athanasius-- a preacher from Africa, whom Arius and his educated intellectual fellows sneeringly called "the black dwarf"-- penned De Incarnatione Verbi Dei, a cheerful, biblically rich treatise which remains amazingly readable even two millennia later. Athanasius almost single-handedly held the gates of orthodox Christianity from an assault by the most educated and well-respected Christian scholars of the day. It is these actions that caused C.S. Lewis to write the quote found under his picture here; as well as gave him the epitaph found on his gravestone: "Athanasius against the world."

----------
Crazy stuff going on in life-- I'll discuss all of that in a later post (in a roundabout, vague fashion, as is proper). Suffice it to say that my Father has been changing my heart, because I am dealing with this much differently than I normally would. He is giving me "eyes to see", and I can look beyond the actions to see the causes behind the actions.

I forgive you. You know who you are. :)

----------

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
-C.S. Lewis

In Kuwait.

2010-02-20T23:17:00.001-08:00

Left Mississippi a few days ago. The plane ride wasn’t half-bad. It started poorly—the 767 had engine problems, so despite waking up at 2am, we didn’t take off until 4pm that day. That ride was a bit crowded, but I had decent company. And I slept.

We had a layover at JFK international airport. We weren’t allowed in the airport proper with our weapons, so we had to stay sequestered in our own terminal. When we were given leave to roam about the airport, we had to leave folks behind to watch the weapons. Thanks Bloomberg, you statist, immature, sexually and emotionally stunted hoplophobe. I have a God-given right to self-defense anywhere and everywhere I go. Simply because I’m in your crime-ridden city and you don’t trust your own citizens (or subjects, shall I say?) enough to allow (as if you can, in an act of noblesse oblige, amend or abridge the Bill of Rights at your whim) them to protect themselves (and you don’t really want them to- let’s face it, you and your ilk wish to rule over a nation of children- with you as the loving progressive parents) doesn’t mean that I- a free man by action and choice- must submit myself to your immoral laws.

Pig.

Anyhow, I really have to alter my opinion of New Yorkers. I admit to being prejudiced towards them. When we started to travel around the airport, I reflected to my medic that we were unlikely to be singled out in a positive fashion in New York; to wit, I said to him, “Hey Wooz- I bet you five dollars that we don’t get one ‘thanks for your service’ while we’re here.” He absolutely agreed, and refused to take a losing bet. Not ten minutes later, some thin and weathered fellow pulling a rolling suitcase stopped us both and shook our hands. “Thank you for everything you do for our country.” I stood corrected. However, we both agreed, he was likely from somewhere else.

Sometime later, Wooz and I headed to McDonalds to grab a bite to eat. We were standing in line when some quick-talking lady with an obvious New York accent offered to buy our dinner. “I know you guys are headed over and I want to do this for you,” she said. So that’s two for two, I guess.

A couple of observations about JFK airport: The prices. A 20oz drink from a vending machine is $2.75. A hamburger from Mickey D’s that costs 89 cents in Kentucky costs $2.39 at JFK/New York. My Southern Chicken sandwich meal cost $7.89 on the menu. When I asked if they had a dollar menu, the cashier laughed- laughed! What a horrid place. I realize that people will argue ‘cost of living’ and all that. But you have to factor in taxes. In fact, the taxes levied in an area directly affect the cost of living. Same thing with minimum wage- which, by the way, (and this is a fact backed by the numbers) hurts the lowest income demographic, and in that demographic, hurts blacks the most, and in the black community, hurts teenage males worst of all.

The point of all this is to imagine what the cost of living in New York would look like if there was no minimum wage, and the city’s taxes were limited. Or, and this is a handy solution to the whole “IOT keep New York running you have to smother the people in taxes!” argument. What if each borough was taxed separately, and according to the mean income of that borough? That way, those who want to live in a Manhattan penthouse would have to shoulder directly their share of the financial burden for Manhattan, allowing the people in the poorer sections of the city to avoid paying for the astronomical expenses of downtown; IOW, they would be directly taxed for the amount they use, and no more.

Another thing about JFK. There was an EL Al (the Israeli airline) flight stopped over in town, and there were a bunch of Jews running around there. One thing I noticed: You would see the hottest Israeli girls pushing baby carriages next to really subpar Israeli guys. Like, seriously. Ugly. I’m an average (possibly below average) American male. Compared to these guys, I might as well be a bodybuilder or a Greek God. Bear with me here. Based on the cross-section of Israeli guys displayed in JFK, an average-looking American guy could seriously head over there and clean house. Probably be beating the women off with a stick. You heard me gents. Go forth!

After JFK, we went to Leipzig Germany—home of Johann Sebastian Bach. Then to Kuwait- population 2.5 million; 1.4 million of which are non-Kuwaiti, predominantly Catholic Filipino. That’s a religious/race war waiting to happen, since 1) Muhammad declared (and therefore Muslims believe to the death) that the Arabian peninsula would forever be a peninsula on which Allah alone would be worshipped, and 2) because of that, Kuwait and other peninsular nations have dhimmi laws which practically outlaw all other faiths. (And CAIR whines when the star and crescent isn’t displayed next to nativity scenes…)

So we’re sitting in Kuwait, wasting time. It’s pretty cushy here, which I don’t like. Too many fast food chains; too many places to waste money (huge PX, Harley-Davidson/Ford store, etc.) I wish I could go back to a FOB like Orgun-E. Nothing but barracks, an MWR, and and a chow hall. But I’m not deploying to Afghanistan again. And the new ROE for Afghanistan requires the enemy to engage in “hostile action” even if US troops have positive identification (also known as PID) before they can be engaged. Can’t win a war that way—so I won’t even have the option of visiting Afghanistan as a tourist. And I did kinda want to.

Finished reading Hosea. Awesome, awesome book. The more I read the Bible, the more smitten I am with God’s love for us. The basic outline of the book is that Yahweh tells Hosea to take a prostitute named Gomer as his wife. This story of the relationship between Hosea and Gomer mirrors the one between Yahweh and his people. I’m not sure, having just finished reading it, how much of the unfaithfulness God speaks of Israel actually applies to Gomer vis-a-vis Hosea, but its still great. Listen to chapter 11, where God is talking about his people:

When Israel was a child, I loved him,
And out of Egypt I called my son. But
The more I called Israel, the further they went from me[…]
It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them
By the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them.
I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love;
I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them.

God speaks of the wayward Northern Kingdom as if they were a beloved son—can you see a giddy toddler being taught to walk by its father in verse three, his fingers gently holding up his child “by the arms”? It’s a beautiful picture also in verse four. “I bent down to feed them.” I see a loving Daddy with a tiny spoon in his hand, feeding that same toddler; now wiping the excess off his child’s chin. It is with such images in mind that verse five: …will not Assyria rule over them because they refuse to repent? And six: Swords will flash in their cities… and put an end to their plans—sound less like a judgment (although that’s what it is, we mustn’t forget) and more like a heartbroken father that can see the coming pain their wayward child is too blind to see.

But look at verse eight now:

How can I give you up, Ephraim?
How can I hand you over, O Israel?[…]
My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused.
I will not carry out my fierce anger, nor will I turn and
Devastate Ephraim.
For I am God, and not man—
The Holy One among you. I will not come in wrath.

Yahweh recalls the past, and His love wins out over judgment. He saves Israel from the consequences of their actions “For I am God, and not man”—by his supernatural power. In a way, this can be a foreshadowing of that ultimate act of love: the work of Christ upon the cross. Through Christ’s death we were saved from the consequences of our actions. Eternal death, according to Paul in Romans chapter 3. He goes on to say, in verse 25

God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.

How could God do this? How was it possible for God to allow Christ to pay this price for us? Because “I am God, and not man.” Good enough for me.

Back to Hosea. You know, I really want to get to know these people better. There are so many unanswered questions about the people involved. Did Hosea love his wife when he was commanded to marry her? Did his heart break when he held little Jezreel (or Lo-Ammi or Lo-Ruhamah) and thought “This is not my child”? Gomer was a prostitute. How often did she ply her trade? Did people watch Hosea walk down the street and say “That poor, poor man. Why is he still with Gomer? He certainly deserves better”? How did he react to other people’s pity or scorn? What was running through Gomer’s mind when she cheated on him? Did she enjoy sex for sex? Was she broken, somehow, on the inside? Did she love Hosea at first, or only at the end? How in the world did Hosea work up the nerve to stride into where Gomer was “working” and buy her back? What did Hosea think of the God who allowed him to feel this pain? He spoke the word of the Lord; surely there was some other way to get the point across? How often did Hosea sit in a dark corner of his home, away from the kids, away from prying eyes, and pour out in tears the hurt he must have felt?

There is much omitted about who Hosea was and the circumstances of his life. But there is enough there to paint a brief but vivid picture. Hosea was a man of remarkable moral strength. He was obedient, if nothing else. And I like to think that he had faith—that the God who could redeem and heal the people of Israel was big enough to redeem and heal his wife. I sincerely hope Hosea had his “happily ever after”, don’t you?

------------------------

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
“Therefore I am going to now allure her;
I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.
There I will give her back her vineyards,
And make the Valley of Trouble
A door of hope.
There she will sing as in the days of
Her youth,
As in the days she came up out of
Egypt.”
- Hosea 2: 14-15

Learning Love

2010-02-10T15:04:00.000-08:00

So, I’m getting ready—still—to go over to Iraq. Any time now… :)

I want to explain what God is doing in my life. Cause it is incredible and awesome. You see, I’ve been out of the loop concerning my relationship with God for quite some time now. Granted, I had my moments—and they usually included getting hurt really badly by people I care deeply about—but they weren’t permanent changes, just moments of being in touch with God.

So God wasn’t really getting what he wanted out of me: a relationship. I was the friend who came by to cry on His mighty shoulder, taking comfort in His presence, and when He had picked me up, I merrily treated Him like crap and went off on my way. (I didn’t realize all of this until very recently. I had been that “lifesaving flotation device” before for other people, but never thought that what others did to me, I was doing to God.) Sure, I called him my Father; called him my Savior—but my actions didn’t line up with what I professed. Like a husband who beats his wife and then tells her he loves her, there was a disconnect between what I said and what I did; between who I claimed to be and who I really was. (I’ve recently begun to understand the vital nature of belief+action, and how the two relate. More on that later.)

I think, being a Puritanical, honor-bound male, I tended towards legalism. I know I tended towards legalism- I think that was the reason. I have always valued honesty, loyalty, keeping your word, working hard, treating others fairly, all of that. And all of those are good and decent things. But if you pay attention, you will notice all of those things have something in common.

Do you see it? Look a little closer, and think.

All those positive traits I listed are either 1) actions, or 2) dependent on action. (They also are displayed by action, but so is everything else. As I will explain in a later post, humans are physical creatures. Therefore, they manifest everything physically. To the degree that something isn’t displayed in action, it isn’t believed. Oops, I’m digressing…) So of course, if my morals emphasize action, I would find myself slowly drifting towards legalism.

I once explained to a friend (speaking of another friend who disparaged Mosaic Law) that sometimes I liked the Law, because it was a last ditch safety net. Even though my entire body and fallen nature screamed to do something, I held back *because I knew it was wrong*. Spoken Like a true Pharisee, eh? The Law can point toward righteousness, but it cannot lead there. It took me falling to my lowest depths before I realized how ethereal that safety net was.

I started reading God’s Word, and praying a little bit. And then I read a really cool book. It’s called “So You don’t Want to go to Church Anymore.” And yeah, it was fiction, but there was still a bit of truth in there. What really struck me about the book was how the authors, through the protagonist’s conversations with a guy named John, emphasized- over and over- God’s love and the relationship He sought with every single one of us. About halfway through I put the book down and picked up my Bible. I went to the Gospels, and I reread John. And the love of this amazing man, Jesus, who was also God, seemed to leak through every single syllable. I lost count of how many times John mentioned love*, or used the “L-word”. (Hehe.) Only a God of love would heal the lame and give sight to the blind. Only a God who sought every single one of us like a husband seeks his bride would talk with a Samaritan polyamorist, or tell the adulterous woman “I don’t condemn you. Go, and don’t sin again.” Only a God who loves us enough to get His hands dirty would willingly walk to the Cross. Of the Crucifixion, John says “Having loved His own who were in the world, He now showed them the full extent of His love.”

As I read all this, I finally understood with my heart that my sins were forgiven. I had the knowledge, but one can know something and never act on it. I had always carried around in my mind a personal scorecard- good deeds vs. bad deeds- and I would unconsciously grade myself every day. Looking back, how could I not be silently miserable? Even the times when it seemed I pulled ahead, that was only a brief respite before my legalistic heart was pulled back into sin. When you compete against your own ideal- or God’s, for that matter- you can’t win.

What came after that realization was a hunger. A hunger to know this God that had forgiven me, who wanted to be my best friend. My little flame of faith picked up strength and began roaring, growing into an actual fire. I started praying and reading my Bible- things I had done before, things that on the outside looked the same as it always had- but with a difference. You see, my heart had shifted. I was doing the same actions, but with new motivations.

And it’s awesome. I prayed to God that He would keep revealing Himself to me, and that I wanted to chase Him with everything I had. Also, I began to understand (slowly) that If I pursued Him with all of my heart, everything else would begin to fall into place. I loved others, but instead of trying to love them under my own power, as I had been doing for so long with mixed results, I began letting Christ love them through me.

So I’m forgiven. And so are you. And Christ earned forgiveness for us because God wanted to know you and I intimately. If you honestly pursue Him- if you wrap yourself in His love- you will find yourself becoming a better person. Not through action, though your actions will change to show others the love you feel. But a better person than you could ever become on your own. And you might discover, like I did, that the person you are becoming is the person you wanted to be all along, but you didn’t know it.

(* Wouldn't that be cool? To go through the original Greek and count how many times the word "love" appeared in John? I certainly think so.)

--------------------------
"God doesn't ask us to sacrifice our dreams in the coventional sense. He doesn't throw them away. He gives them back to us, redeemed."

2010-01-21T08:28:00.000-08:00

So I’m at Mob station, getting ready to head to the sandbox. I’m excited—about getting over there and past this bullshit, but also about coming home at the end of it and doing the things I want to do.

I’m doing my best to “Let Silence Reign” in that situation; Buttercup is… well, to be honest, I don’t really know where her heart is, and anything I say would likely be too bitter and hurtful to do any good. Silence is golden; but sometimes it is also holy. I did remove her from my Facebook friends, and I suppose I ought to explain that. I wasn’t because I was angry at her, or I hated her, or I never wanted to talk to her again. It was because when I would log on after several days offline, there would be her face and her name sitting there on my home page—each one like a knife twist in my heart. So I removed her from my friends.

I miss her. But not like the “I’ve been rejected forever” type of missing. More like “My friend died awhile ago” type. And I’m sure she would say the same, that she isn’t the woman that I once loved (as if love was confined to a certain moment, and not an aging, growing thing as well!) and that that person was dead. My response to that would be that my Savior can raise the dead—it’s his speciality.
-------

Been reading Boston’s Gun Bible. Man, what a great book. Seriously. I can’t wait to get home and build my .308 AR-15. Boston has a great chapter on how Liberty types are often all talk. Its great. His basic argument is that if you don’t own a battle rifle and practice with it often, you don’t take liberty seriously. Here’s a quote:

“On April 19, 1775, the Minutemen of Lexington and Concord didn’t stand around quoting Locke to the Redcoats. They didn’t sit there and shout “No initiation of force!” No, they shot them—well and often—all twenty miles back to Boston.”

So I was on Mars...

2009-12-04T18:44:00.000-08:00

So I was working on my cogitator the other day. I opened the holy slot so that I could insert the dataslate-- and behold, the interior of the feed tray was defiled! Reciting prayers to the Omnissiah, I checked for further flaws, and finding none, I submitted a request for a new dataslate port. Chanting the Canticle of Swiftness, I waited. Within two solar cycles it had arrived!

I, being a humble adept, feared that my inexperience would further injure the machine-spirit. It was with that in mind that I approached my local Tech-Magos. Together, we lit the incense and chanted prayers of supplication to the cogitator's machine-spirit. Speaking the Litany of Unbinding, we performed the Rite of Removal-- taking the corrupted port from the innards of the cogitator. We chanted the Litany of Inclusion as we inserted the new dataslate port into the machine.

We ran holy diagnostics, fulfilling every step of the the proper ritual to ensure proper placement and connection. I whispered prayers to the machine-spirit and the Omnissiah for correct operation, as the cogitator rebooted.

It performed flawlessly! The Magos and I offered our praise to the Machine God that my cogitator could be brought back to perfection!

--------------
My computer broke and I took it to Geek Squad to fix it.

2009-12-03T18:50:00.000-08:00

Miss home. Miss people there. Wish I could fix stuff, to make things better. I don't think I was in the wrong-- I reacted to the information I had been given-- but I'd rather have things fixed than be right.

Updating?

2009-12-01T17:54:00.000-08:00

I guess I might try blogging it all out this time around. It would give me something to do, and lemme vent-- cuz, folks, these kids is retarded.

You know, the hilarious thing about the Army? You kinda forget how idiotic it is until you are in the belly of the beast again. For example:

Today, May, Cantrell, and I left the Armory on a mission after lunch to take Cantrell to the doctor's office for his appointment. We ran to Best Buy to see if Geek Squad could help me with my broke optical drive: more about that later.

Anyways, we make it back to the hotel with Cantrell, who is appropriately drugged to the gills. We depart to our respective rooms and I, after some unpacking, prepare to take a shower. The time was now 3:15 pm. Naked, and practically in the shower, I get a phone call from May: we are required to go back to the Armory, for the day was not over yet.

We get back to the Armory at 3:45. They let us go home at 4:15.

Logic: the Army has never heard of it.

A little something...

2009-08-04T11:31:00.000-07:00

I was reading this today, and I feel that it is a comment that needs to be heard, especially today. From the greatest President we never had (Eat it, Ann Coulter):

---------

"We have all heard much throughout our lifetimes, and seen little happen, on the subject of high taxes. Where is the politician who has not promised his constituents a fight to the death for lower taxes-- and who has not proceeded to vote for the very spending projects that make tax cuts impossible?(...) Talk of tax reduction has thus come to have a hollow ring. The people listen, but do not believe...

... I suspect this vicious cycle of cynicism and failure to perform is primarily the result of the Liberals' success in reading out the discussion of the moral principles with which the subject of taxation is so intimately connected. We have been led to look upon taxation as merely the problem of public financing: How much money does the government need? We have often been led to ... forget altogether the bearing of taxation on the problem of individual freedom. We have been persuaded that the government has an unlimited claim on the wealth of the people, and that the only pertinent question is what portion of its claim the government should exercise. The American taxpayer, I think, has lost confidence in his claim to his money.

(...)

Government does not have an unlimited claim to the earnings of individuals. One of the foremost precepts of the natural law is man's right to the possesion and the use of his property. And a man's earnings are his property as much as his land and the house in which he lives. Indeed, in the industrial age, earnings are probably the most prevalent form of property. It has been the fashion in recent years to disparage "property rights"-- to associate them with greed and materialism. This attack on property rights is actually an attack on freedom. It is another instance of the modern failure to take into account the whole man. How can a man be truly free if the fruits of his labor are not his to dispose of, but are treated, instead, as as part of a common pool of public wealth? Property and Freedom are inseparable: to the extent the government takes the one in the form of taxes, it intrudes on the other.

...But having said that each man has an inalienable right to his property, it must also be said that every citizen has an obligation to contribute his fair share to the legitmate functions of government.(...) The size of the Government's rightful claim-- that is, the total amount it may take in taxes-- will be determined by how we define the "legitimate functions of government." With regard to the federal government, the Constitution is the proper standard of legitimacy: its "legitimate" powers, as we have seen, are those the Constitution has delegated to it... when the federal government enacts programs that are not authorized by its delegated powers, the taxes needed to pay for such programs exceed the government's rightful claim on our wealth.

...What's a "fair share"? I believe that the requirements of justice here are perfectly clear: government has a right to claim an equal percentage of each man's wealth, and no more... the idea that a man who makes $100,000 a year should be forced to contribute ninety per cent of his income to the cost of government, while the man who makes $10,000 is made to pay twenty per cent is repugnant to my notions of justice. I do not believe in punishing success. To put it more broadly, I believe it is contrary to the natural right to property to which we have just alluded-- and is therefore immoral-- to deny to the man whose labor has produced more abundant fruit than that of his neighbor the opportunity of enjoying the abundance he has created.

... The graduated tax is a confiscatory tax. It's effect, and to a large extent its aim, is to bring down all men to a common level. Many of the leading proponents of a graduated tax frankly admit that their purpose is to redistribute the nation's wealth. Their aim is an egalitarian society-- an objective that does violence both to the charter of the Republic and to the laws of Nature. We are equal in the eyes of God but we are equal in no other respect. Artificial devices for enforcing equality among unequal men must must be rejected if we would restore that charter and enforce those laws.

One problem with regard to taxes, then, is to enforce justice-- to abolish the graduated features of our tax laws; and the sooner we get at the job, the better."

- Barry M. Goldwater

---------------------

I think most of you will catch the relevance of what Senator Goldwater was referring to, and how it applies to America today. Of course, some of the numbers have changed over time. For example, under our current President (who was caught on film saying "I want to spread the wealth around"-- the very words Goldwater used to describe supporters of graduated taxes) people whose incomes are $100,000 and above now pay 95% of the federal income, and Americans who makes less than $15,000 pay nothing to the government. The inequities have not been resolved. If anything, they have grown since 1964.

Some might find it odd for Senator Goldwater to refer to taxes and taxation in moral terms, but he is absolutely right. Historically, Americans have seen the tax issue in a moral light since the colonial period. The Intolerable Acts, The Stamp Act, the Tea Act-- all of the furor around these issues stemmed from the English insistence that the Americans' wealth, as British subjects, was to be regulated as Parliament and the King saw fit-- and from the Colonial belief that each American had a right to the fruit of his own labor. For Obama supporters (or even simply big government supporters) to claim that the "people" or the government has a greater claim on someone's property than that person does, is to say that the American Revolution was immoral, and that "the last, best hope of mankind" is based on flawed ideas of greed.

Just to hold you over...

2009-07-17T13:34:00.001-07:00

I'm probably not gonna be able to update this thing until sometime in August. So I decided I'd have a filler.

This is most definitely an awesome quote from an awesome person, but it is way too long. So I'll devote an entire post to Patton's Pre-invasion speech.

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"Men, this stuff that some sources sling around about America wanting out of this war, not wanting to fight, is a crock of bullshit. Americans love to fight, traditionally. All real Americans love the sting and clash of battle. You are here today for three reasons. First, because you are here to defend your homes and your loved ones. Second, you are here for your own self respect, because you would not want to be anywhere else. Third, you are here because you are real men and all real men like to fight. When you, here, everyone of you, were kids, you all admired the champion marble player, the fastest runner, the toughest boxer, the big league ball players, and the All-American football players. Americans love a winner. Americans will not tolerate a loser. Americans despise cowards. Americans play to win all of the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost nor will ever lose a war; for the very idea of losing is hateful to an American.

You are not all going to die. Only two percent of you right here today would die in a major battle. Death must not be feared. Death, in time, comes to all men. Yes, every man is scared in his first battle. If he says he's not, he's a liar. Some men are cowards but they fight the same as the brave men or they get the hell slammed out of them watching men fight who are just as scared as they are. The real hero is the man who fights even though he is scared. Some men get over their fright in a minute under fire. For some, it takes an hour. For some, it takes days. But a real man will never let his fear of death overpower his honor, his sense of duty to his country, and his innate manhood. Battle is the most magnificent competition in which a human being can indulge. It brings out all that is best and it removes all that is base. Americans pride themselves on being He Men and they ARE He Men. Remember that the enemy is just as frightened as you are, and probably more so. They are not supermen.

All through your Army careers, you men have bitched about what you call "chicken shit drilling". That, like everything else in this Army, has a definite purpose. That purpose is alertness. Alertness must be bred into every soldier. I don't give a fuck for a man who's not always on his toes. You men are veterans or you wouldn't be here. You are ready for what's to come. A man must be alert at all times if he expects to stay alive. If you're not alert, sometime, a German son-of-an-asshole-bitch is going to sneak up behind you and beat you to death with a sockful of shit!

There are four hundred neatly marked graves somewhere in Sicily. All because one man went to sleep on the job. But they are German graves, because we caught the bastard asleep before they did. An Army is a team. It lives, sleeps, eats, and fights as a team. This individual heroic stuff is pure horseshit. The bilious bastards who write that kind of stuff for the Saturday Evening Post don't know any more about real fighting under fire than they know about fucking!

We have the finest food, the finest equipment, the best spirit, and the best men in the world. Why, by God, I actually pity those poor sons-of-bitches we're going up against. By God, I do.

My men don't surrender. I don't want to hear of any soldier under my command being captured unless he has been hit. Even if you are hit, you can still fight back. That's not just bullshit either. The kind of man that I want in my command is just like the lieutenant in Libya, who, with a Luger against his chest, jerked off his helmet, swept the gun aside with one hand, and busted the hell out of the Kraut with his helmet. Then he jumped on the gun and went out and killed another German before they knew what the hell was coming off. And, all of that time, this man had a bullet through a lung. There was a real man! All of the real heroes are not storybook combat fighters, either. Every single man in this Army plays a vital role. Don't ever let up. Don't ever think that your job is unimportant. Every man has a job to do and he must do it. Every man is a vital link in the great chain. What if every truck driver suddenly decided that he didn't like the whine of those shells overhead, turned yellow, and jumped headlong into a ditch? The cowardly bastard could say, "Hell, they won't miss me, just one man in thousands". But, what if every man thought that way? Where in the hell would we be now? What would our country, our loved ones, our homes, even the world, be like? No, Goddamnit, Americans don't think like that. Every man does his job. Every man serves the whole. Every department, every unit, is important in the vast scheme of this war. The ordnance men are needed to supply the guns and machinery of war to keep us rolling. The Quartermaster is needed to bring up food and clothes because where we are going there isn't a hell of a lot to steal. Every last man on K.P. has a job to do, even the one who heats our water to keep us from getting the 'G.I. Shits'.

Each man must not think only of himself, but also of his buddy fighting beside him. We don't want yellow cowards in this Army. They should be killed off like rats. If not, they will go home after this war and breed more cowards. The brave men will breed more brave men. Kill off the Goddamned cowards and we will have a nation of brave men. One of the bravest men that I ever saw was a fellow on top of a telegraph pole in the midst of a furious fire fight in Tunisia. I stopped and asked what the hell he was doing up there at a time like that. He answered, "Fixing the wire, Sir". I asked, "Isn't that a little unhealthy right about now?" He answered, "Yes Sir, but the Goddamned wire has to be fixed". I asked, "Don't those planes strafing the road bother you?" And he answered, "No, Sir, but you sure as hell do!" Now, there was a real man. A real soldier. There was a man who devoted all he had to his duty, no matter how seemingly insignificant his duty might appear at the time, no matter how great the odds. And you should have seen those trucks on the rode to Tunisia. Those drivers were magnificent. All day and all night they rolled over those son-of-a-bitch roads, never stopping, never faltering from their course, with shells bursting all around them all of the time. We got through on good old American guts. Many of those men drove for over forty consecutive hours. These men weren't combat men, but they were soldiers with a job to do. They did it, and in one hell of a way they did it. They were part of a team. Without team effort, without them, the fight would have been lost. All of the links in the chain pulled together and the chain became unbreakable.

Don't forget, you men don't know that I'm here. No mention of that fact is to be made in any letters. The world is not supposed to know what the hell happened to me. I'm not supposed to be commanding this Army. I'm not even supposed to be here in England. Let the first bastards to find out be the Goddamned Germans. Some day I want to see them raise up on their piss-soaked hind legs and howl, 'Jesus Christ, it's the Goddamned Third Army again and that son-of-a-fucking-bitch Patton!'

We want to get the hell over there. The quicker we clean up this Goddamned mess, the quicker we can take a little jaunt against the purple pissing Japs and clean out their nest, too. Before the Goddamned Marines get all of the credit.

Sure, we want to go home. We want this war over with. The quickest way to get it over with is to go get the bastards who started it. The quicker they are whipped, the quicker we can go home. The shortest way home is through Berlin and Tokyo. And when we get to Berlin, I am personally going to shoot that paper hanging son-of-a-bitch Hitler. Just like I'd shoot a snake!

When a man is lying in a shell hole, if he just stays there all day, a German will get to him eventually. The hell with that idea. The hell with taking it. My men don't dig foxholes. I don't want them to. Foxholes only slow up an offensive. Keep moving. And don't give the enemy time to dig one either. We'll win this war, but we'll win it only by fighting and by showing the Germans that we've got more guts than they have; or ever will have. We're not going to just shoot the sons-of-bitches, we're going to rip out their living Goddamned guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're going to murder those lousy Hun cocksuckers by the bushel-fucking-basket. War is a bloody, killing business. You've got to spill their blood, or they will spill yours. Rip them up the belly. Shoot them in the guts. When shells are hitting all around you and you wipe the dirt off your face and realize that instead of dirt it's the blood and guts of what once was your best friend beside you, you'll know what to do!

I don't want to get any messages saying, "I am holding my position." We are not holding a Goddamned thing. Let the Germans do that. We are advancing constantly and we are not interested in holding onto anything, except the enemy's balls. We are going to twist his balls and kick the living shit out of him all of the time. Our basic plan of operation is to advance and to keep on advancing regardless of whether we have to go over, under, or through the enemy. We are going to go through him like crap through a goose; like shit through a tin horn!

From time to time there will be some complaints that we are pushing our people too hard. I don't give a good Goddamn about such complaints. I believe in the old and sound rule that an ounce of sweat will save a gallon of blood. The harder WE push, the more Germans we will kill. The more Germans we kill, the fewer of our men will be killed. Pushing means fewer casualties. I want you all to remember that.

There is one great thing that you men will all be able to say after this war is over and you are home once again. You may be thankful that twenty years from now when you are sitting by the fireplace with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what you did in the great World War II, you WON'T have to cough, shift him to the other knee and say, 'Well, your Granddaddy shoveled shit in Louisiana.' No, Sir, you can look him straight in the eye and say, 'Son, your Granddaddy rode with the Great Third Army and a Son-of-a-Goddamned-Bitch named Georgie Patton!'"
- George Patton

My life recently...

2009-07-15T12:48:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile, so I guess I'll just fill in a little of what's been going on in my life since I last posted.

I've been doing the youth thing, with some success. I've started to try to get the kids to open up a bit during the lesson-- I also started opening with prayer, to try to get their minds to transition from breakfast to the class. I asked Dr. Durst (who is one of our interim pastors while Dr. Wineland is away in Jordan) for his advice, and am trying to add some application in at the end of the lesson. These kids don't really have a Biblical foundation-- which worries me, since I know you need one to get through high school-- and one of the kids is going to Morehead in a month.
I'm taking the youth group to see a movie next Monday evening.

Saw Transformers 2; thinking about maybe doing a review.

My roommate got a ministry job up in Ohio, and he's gonna be gone by the middle of next month. I'll stay in his place, and likely sign a new lease. I haven't found a roommate, though I told Gentleman (codenames are so much fun) that he is more than welcome to stay in my place. I've known Gentleman for about 3-4 years now, though he's since graduated from KCU. He's quiet, smart, a little nerdy- when I roomed with Mikhail Gentleman served as our RA. He has an interest in staying around these parts because his girlfriend hasn't yet graduated. I told him I could almost cover my rent- not quite a lie, but slightly untrue- and therefore wouldn't mind having him around. He told me it might happen if he could find a job around here.

The new GI bill will give me Housing allowance while I'm going to school- much the same as if I was deployed. The difference here is that when I was deployed, my BAH reflected my pay-grade, E-4. While I'm enrolled, I will recieve BAH equal to an E-5 with dependents. In other words, I'll have around an extra fifty dollars a month that will go straight into my pocket.

I've been looking for a job, and with security guard and Wal-Mart ruled out, I began looking at hotles. My plan is for a third shift job where I have time to sit and do some schoolwork. Hotel front desks(according to my roommate, who did that exact thing) are perfect for this. Show up at midnight, prep for the next day, check-in and check-out the "quickie" rush around 1-2am, and generally STAY AWAKE. That's the biggie. The bosses usually don't care what you do, so long as you don't fall asleep at the desk.

So I took out a bunch of applications- except for one, which was only a page long single side, which I filled out right there at the Holiday Inn- on Friday. Tuesday, I got a phone call from the Holiday Inn. They wanted an interview that day at 3pm. So I dressed, showered, ate, and went to the interview. Guess what they were hiring for? Third shift. I'm really hoping this pans out, but just in case I'm filling out the other apps and leaving them on my 'desk'.

I've got a really good friend that I haven't been talking to. The situation is a bit complicated, but I'm really trying to stay strong. We talked for about a week or so in June, then back to nothing. She expressed interest in going to church with me (which Mikhail and I both thought was odd, seeing as she wanted to avoid personal contact) but then wouldn't return my texts about church. I assume she either wants to be left alone, or is busy, or I pissed her off somehow. So I decided I would wait a literal month and a half before trying again. I even marked August 27 on my calendar. Until August 27, barring some huge earth-shattering circumstance (such as SHTF) I will make no attmept to contact her. The last thing I want to do is to make her angrier by trying to get in touch with her. (I've noticed she and I have opposite reactions to bad news or bad occurences in our lives. "Fight or Flight." I fight, and she... flights? Bad grammar, but I think you get the point.)

I've noticed I'm rambling, so I'll let this go. Later.

PS. Is it just me, or do I update this thing in spurts? It must take a month for there to be anything interesting to write about in my life, I guess.

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"Anyone who clings to the historically untrue -- and thoroughly immoral -- doctrine that `violence never settles anything' I would advise to conjure up the ghosts of Napoleon Bonaparte and of the Duke of Wellington and let them debate it. The ghost of Hitler could referee, and the jury might well be the Dodo, the Great Auk, and the Passenger Pigeon. Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and freedoms." - Robert A. Heinlein, Starship Troopers(1959)

Still here...

2009-07-14T19:45:00.000-07:00

So, I had a job interview today; more on that later.

I am also a proud member of the National Rifle Association and the Gun Owners of America.

I must therefore post an obligatory image of Charlton Heston:

That should do.

Later , all!

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"Even though large tracts of Europe and many old and famous States have fallen or may fall into the grip of the Gestapo and all the odious apparatus of Nazi rule, we shall not flag or fail.

We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be,we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old." -Winston Churchill

Not a bad weekend

2009-06-07T19:45:00.000-07:00

All things considered.

I taught my first class this morning. It was pretty cool, and it got me thinking that maybe this youth thing won't be so bad. I've got a possible fundraiser lined up, as well as my first event; I think I'm gonna take all the kids to see UP the weekend after next.

Tim came over and grabbed most of his stuff out of the apartment, so while my room looks like a disaster area, it's MY disaster area now. I also hung up all my clothes and had 70 or so hangers left over.

Going to get a tattoo tomorrow. Just in time to see my (anti-tattoo) mother this weekend. Looking forward to that... I promise I'll put pictures up eventually.

There's a situation I'm dealing with, and I admit it gets... difficult at times. But I read 1 Corinthians 13 Friday night, and it's like it burned itself into my memory. I start to grow weary of waiting, and verse four comes back to me. I begin to feel anger and frustration, and verse five rises, unbidden, in my thoughts. It's a tall order that Christ commands of us, that's for sure.

I needed cheering up yesterday, so I watched The Princess Bride. Such a good movie.

I'm still thinking of reviewing a bunch of Graphic Novels. The short list for right now is Light Brigade, The Watchmen, Superman: Red Son, Kingdom Come. Any suggestions? Would anyone read the reviews? Will I have the time?

------------------
+++AWESOME QUOTE+++

"In the absence of orders, go find something and kill it." -Erwin Rommel

So I should be writing a paper...

2009-06-03T23:26:00.000-07:00

But I'm not. I just finished one, and I'm about to head to the fridge to grab an energy drink before I start on the other one. Sure, they taste terrible, but they'll keep me awake.

I kinda feel like venting. I mean, I'm struggling spiritually, which is the constant state of soul that a Christian is supposed to have. I'm growing and stretching in all sorts of ways that are definite improvements. But even though I'm dealing with the problems and sins I had before, now new ones that I've never struggled with are popping up. It makes me so frustrated that I want to cry.

And I feel like I'm waiting on something that will never happen; That I'm tricking myself into thinking that it will, and I'm wondering if, even though its what I want with all my heart, that maybe God doesn't WANT it to happen-- and that makes me angry at God, that like He's been leading me along all these years and letting me hope for something that was never going to be.

I'm tired of being alone. Not only over the summer, but just in general. I am so ready to give this up.

Which reminds me. I went to a friend's bachelor party on Saturday. And every so often, he would whine. "Man, the glory days are over," he would bitch. "No more parties, no more wild nights," he moaned. I wanted to smack him. I wanted to beat him profusely about the head and shoulders and shout "WTF are you crying about? Are you whining cause you've got a beautiful girl who is willing to spend the rest of her life with you? That you've got that security now, someone who will listen to your fears and frustrations, who will be waiting for you to come home? And yet you sit here, acting like parties and strippers and all this shit is stupidly important, like it's worth missing?!?! Some of us don't have all that. Some of us want it. Shut. The. F@*$. Up."
Seriously. I just think he was trying to be deep, and he failed miserably. But it was still annoying. It made me want to cuss.

My part time job is as the youth pastor of Black Oak Christian Church in Vanceburg. I really, really didn't see or expect that. But now that I am in this position, this place of accountability... I feel so unworthy, so unprepared. I feel in over my head.

Sitting in this apartment, doing homework, planning work stuff and stewing, doesn't help.

Gotta go finish that paper now. Cheer me up, TR.

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” -Theodore Roosevelt

I'm not dead...

2009-06-02T20:05:00.000-07:00

I just have a lot of classwork that is piling up all at once on me.

I got a part time job; that's cool. And I'm looking into a full time job after this week. Following a pretty solid lead, and it might pan out. God is good.

Lucky has a bolt-action rifle that's worth about $1000. The bad news? He is in a tight financial fix, which means he is selling his rifle for about $500. Lucky is the kinda guy who won't take handouts; so I didn't even bother asking. Now, my current plan is to buy it from him, take care of it, put some rounds through it, whatever. Then, I'd sell it back to him after awhile. He gets the cash he needs, he can shoot his rifle whenever I'm down there, and he'll eventually get it back. Sneaky, eh?
I also recently learned that Lucky's wife (Hannah?) was pregnant, and miscarried. She took it really hard. So prayer for that situation.

Oh, and this weekend might consist of more than sitting around the apartment!

*looks at last sentence*

Damn. This is gonna be a long summer.

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"They've got us surrounded again, the poor bastards."
-Creighton W. Abrams Jr, Gen. US Army

Random thoughts

2009-05-21T10:42:00.000-07:00

One of my very good friends from basic training got back in touch with me. Lucky is a pretty cool guy. Eh was in Basic with me and doesn't afraid of anything. (Sorry, inside joke. Moving on...) We see eye-to-eye on a lot of stuff, and I have to admit I like him better now that his loving Christian wife has reined him in. Haha. Anyway, I'm looking forward to heading over to Fort Campbell eventually and hanging out with him-- even though he is *constantly* trying to hook me up with one of his wife's sisters as of late. I'll simply take it as a compliment that he considers me worthy of brotherhood, and leave it at that.

I WAS gonna head over to Ft. Campbell this weekend, what with the day off for Memorial day on Monday and all, but I got a phone call from the unit-- it turns out I was volunteered to spend my Saturday (11am- 2pm) standing on a "Welcome Home 201st" float that is gonna be drifting through downtown Grayson (all ten feet of it). I need to find a beret and some wraparound sunglasses before then.

Saw Exorcism of Emily Rose. Good movie.

Might have a job offer around the corner-- maybe more than one.

I'm thinking of posting a series of my favorite Graphic Novels (comic books for all you non-geeks out there) What d' ya think?

I'm gonna go set up my room-- right now evrything is in boxes. I want to make it look lived in.

---------------
+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"Yea- though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for I am the meanest mother#@$% in the valley." -George S. Patton

My Star Trek review, and the Nature of Trek

2009-05-13T19:31:00.001-07:00

Okay, folks. It took me awhile, but here it is:
+++DANIEL'S IMPRESSION OF STAR TREK+++

...

HOLY F!@##ING S##T, THIS MOVIE WAS AWESOME!!!!

I mean, seriously.

Now, I am a life-long Star Trek fan. Some of my best childhood memories involve sitting in the living room with my dad and my brother, watching Star Trek: The Original Series(TOS) and The Next Generation(TNG). I remember once, around 2nd grade, having to be sent back to bed because I had snuck out of my bedroom and into the living room because Star Trek: The Motion Picture was on. My brother and I, between us, owned almost every Star Trek action figure there was. We even had the very badass Transporter room playset-- y' know, the one with the trick mirror that makes the figures disappear with a beaming noise when you put them inside? I discovered much sci-fi since then, but the Enterprise and her valiant crew have always held a special place in my geek heart.

But in recent years, my beloved Star Trek had fallen on hard times. It suffered from a series of lackluster-to-outright-bad movies, even worse TV series, and terrible corporate handling. In the pop-culture solar system, the mainstream and the accepted dwelt nearest the social sun; the tolerated science fiction and fantasy planets revolving at a distance; and further out, the obscure but cool gas giants.

And way out there, at the fringe where barely any light reached, was Star Trek. Star Trek had become a joke and a byword to the masses, only cared about by a sad fraternity of laughable "basement dwellers"-- like the Freemasons, but with fake pointy ears. And it seemed that Star Trek was doomed to eternal irrelevance.

Then... this film. With the aid of some of my awesome fellow Rumblers, I have compiled my thoughts into something cohesive and more substantive than merely throwing around adjectives. Though there will be plenty of those too.

Okay, on to the film itself.

The opening scene is fantastic. We see the USS Kelvin encounter the big bad villain's ship (Emphasis on BIG) from the future. The camera angles and special effects really emphasize the vastness of space. I don't want to spoil this film (it is really good, and you NEED TO SEE IT), but there is a heartbreakingly awesome moment at the beginning that had me in tears Every. Single. Time. I saw the movie.

Zachary Quinto does a great job as young Spock, perfectly balancing the human emotions roiling beneath the calm Vulcan exterior. Chris Pine stays away from Shatner-esque hamminess, finding his own way of expressing the essence of James Kirk. Simon Pegg as Scotty was hilarious, though alongside Sulu, Chekov, and Uhura, didn't recieve nearly enough screen time. But by far the best of all was Karl Urban. He WAS McCoy, down to the facial expressions, physical mannerisms, everything. I wasn't sure that he could pull off "Bones", since until this point Urban had always played big, brooding, manly roles. But I gained a level of respect for this actor that I had never had before.

It was a real delight to see Leonard Nimoy in what is probably his last appearance as Spock. Practically half the movie is fan-service and shout-outs to long-time Trekkers, making us feel right at home alongside brand new fans.

The special effects are stellar (literally!), and the new Enterprise is a beautiful lady indeed. The action is fast and fun. This movie grabs you right out the starting gate and doesn't let go until the classic ending which is the hallmark of almost every (decent) Star Trek film. I recommend this movie to everyone, especially those who aren't Star Trek fans. What you see on the screen, and how you feel, is exactly how I have viewed Star Trek my entire life.

I've heard complaints about the "lazy writing", most of which revolved around the time travel aspect of the plot. But let's face it: time travel is a Star Trek staple, the veggies which go alongside the space opera meat and optimistic-future-for-humanity potatoes that comprise the fun, not-too-hard-sci-fi meal that The Original Series served every week. If you can't handle time travel, you really shouldn't be watching the show to begin with.

True, this movie didn't have an underlying "food for thought" philosophy that some episodes and movies did. But preachiness, to a degree, is what was the worst about Trek. The most loved episodes- in all the series- dealt less with how morally advanced our descendants would be, and more with real people-- people like us-- facing real dilemmas that we could relate to. "City On The Edge Of Forever" is acclaimed not because of any moral message, but rather because Kirk must sacrifice the woman he loves to save the universe. Anyone who has suffered *any* kind of loss can identify with that. What we can't identify with is Picard telling a 21st century woman that "we don't believe in money or personal profit. We work to better ourselves." I'm paraphrasing, but at its best Star Trek was people like us-- people with hopes, dreams, fears, and flaws-- facing unimaginable dangers and mysteries and pulling through because of heart, and because of each other. With a liberal amount of shooting and space aliens thrown in, of course.

And that's what we see onscreen. We understand Nero's desire for revenge. We see the anguish of Kirk's mother and father on the Kelvin. We feel Pike's disappointment at how Kirk has wasted his life. We see Spock struggling to control his anger and grief because of.. well, that would be telling. The point is, these characters are HUMAN.

This film took what was most accessible, most fun about Trek, and put it on the big screen. And in doing so, it made Star Trek "cool" again. (Of course, I always thought it was cool, but who asked me?)

Do yourself a favor. See this movie.

Live Long and Prosper, Star Trek.

----------------------
+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"The best diplomat I know is a fully-charged phaser bank." - Montgomery Scott

Sorry y'all

2009-05-11T16:01:00.000-07:00

I know I promised a post tellin' you what I thought of the new Star Trek movie. I haven't gotten around to it because my personal life has pretty much gone to shit all at once over the weekend.

And it's all my fault.

Y'see, there is a certain way friends act. Friends are supportive, not overbearing. Friends don't force themselves onto others. Friends don't consider what is going on in their life, in their heart. A true friend only considers the needs of those they care about.

This is where I failed.

I have a friend. I have known this friend for years-- literally, her entire college career. We met, and for me at least, it was love at first sight. Our friendship was somewhat rocky from time to time, as I put her needs above my own consistently. This was not always a bad thing (more people, I think, should do this) but the few times I put myself first, it damaged our relationship spectacularly.

Regardless, though we had feelings for each other, we never got together. Our timing was off, or there were other people in the way, usually.

She eventually got married (a mistake by her own admission) on a whim. She had a son, and then her marriage began to fall apart. I had stayed away at first, still burying the pain her marriage had caused me. But, I recalled my duties as a friend, and when she fell, as she had before, I was there to pick her up. I carefully hid my feelings, both from myself and her, and thought that since they were hidden they were dealt with.

As her marriage began to end I started to feel these deep emotions bubbling to the surface. I knew that being in love with a married woman was wrong only if I acted on that love. So I hid it. Even when she was at her lowest point during the separation, I kept my mouth shut and only administered to her needs.

I finally confessed to her a little while ago that I loved her. And I learned, to my surprise, that she loved me too. She and I began tentatively reaching out to each other, and this is when I committed my greatest sin: I hoped. I actually began to believe that maybe, for what seemed like the first time in a long time, my life wasn't meant to be one of loneliness and dissatisfaction. That maybe, after watching so many of my friends embrace happiness, I too would be allowed my heart's desire.

I returned from Afghanistan, and things seemed to go well for the first month or so. Then, she got officially divorced. (*I know this is incriminating, and that my legalistic friends will point their fingers and scream "SINNER!!!!" My only response is, "Yeah, I am. And so are you. Realize that that covenant was broken the moment my friend's husband cheated on her. And once you've turned that over in your mind, you can promptly go to whatever Hell you choose.") Around this time, she started acting strangely. I didn't quite notice, and what I did notice I wrote off.

---------------
A brief aside: I am a Christian, and I value my relationship with Christ highly. But the final few months of my deployment to Afghanistan I backslid. HARD. I did not read my Bible, I didn't pray, I was embarrassed when people mentioned God. I used profanity without regard to the feelings of my fellow Christians. I became a practical alcoholic. God has been slowly working on me these past few weeks, and I can see visible improvement in my life. There is still much work to do, but He is making me- willingly-- into the man He wants me to be.
---------------

I began to harbor a fear-- irrational, I later learned-- that she and her ex-husband were getting back together. I acted like an idiot, and she refused to talk to me. About two weeks later, I saw her and we talked briefly. I learned what the deal was (they had suddenly gotten joint custody) and things seemed, after that conversation, to improve for about two days. She even said hello to me (!) two days later. I asked her if she needed some space, and she said yes.

I left town and gave her the space she asked. When I returned, things still hadn't seemed to improve. I went to her son's birthday party.( For those of you who don't know him, he is the cutest little kid in the whole wide world. And I fell in love with him too...) There was a moment when she and I were alone, and I asked if we could talk later. She practically exploded at me. She explained that the day we talked before, I had cornered her and trapped her (But, of course, I never grabbed her and locked her in bedrooms, like other people I could mention...) and that this was a wholly inappropriate place to bring this topic up. I asked her how could we bring it up in an appropriate place, if she wouldn't return my texts and calls. She said for me to give her two weeks. (Graduation Day.) Looking back, I realize that she never intended to talk to me, that she was simply buying time for her to get the hell out of Dodge, knowing that she would never have to see me again after graduation. I agreed to give her the time.

But alas, whereas a real friend would actually abide by the wishes of the one they cared about, I didn't. The Monday after the party, a friend that we both confided in told me that she admitted to him that she stopped loving me around the time she got her divorce. That Monday (April 27th) was the lowest spiritual point in my life. I was so completely broken. (On the plus side, Jesus found me that night.) I saw her later that week, and told her that I was going to give her a letter explaining my feelings on graduation. She wouldn't make eye contact with me. In neutral tones, she said that would be acceptable.

The next Monday was where I royally fucked up. I was doing my normal late night routine (namely, obsessing over this whole situation) when I saw that she was logged into Facebook.

I should've restrained myself. I should've stayed away. But I didn't and I was in SO MUCH PAIN. I told myself "She is my friend. She'll understand my problem. Despite all that is going on, we are still friends, right?" So I sent her a Facebook message, apologizing for bothering her, but also explaining that I was hurting and that she was the only person who could help with my pain.

And it was ignored. I continued to watch Facebook refresh itself, as she left comments and photos and took stupid little quizzes.

And I began to realize that the woman I had loved was dead, to be replaced by this person who looked like her, acted like her, and was her in every way, except for a deep apathy where I was concerned. I came to understand that she not only didn't love me, but she didn't even care about me as a human being. And I got angry. I picked up my phone and left a furious phone message.

And you know what? I slept, my first nightmare-free night in almost five weeks to that point.

But daylight made me regret what I had done, especially since I realized that I had failed as a friend. I had let my needs come before hers. So I anxiously awaited graduation day. I decided not to give her a letter, because that might make her feel cornered, like I was trying to force her to talk to me. I had decided to give her all the time she needed. Even after all of this, I still had hope.

I showed up at graduation early. I saw her, and tried to explain to her how I was sorry about my phone call on Monday, and that I was proud of her for accomplishing her goals in spite of everything, and that I was going to give her the space she wanted.

She cut me off, and told me that she DID NOT want to talk to me at all. I asked her if she would talk to me eventually, and she said "maybe". When she said that, I had the first moment of true clarity that I had had in weeks. I saw how everything had come to this point because I kept pushing. I had been so selfish, so stupid, that I had lost my best friend. All that we had been through, all the ups and downs that only seemed to make my love stronger, all of that had gotten to the point where I was not even worth a straight answer.

I stared into the gray, empty future. A future where I am alone at twenty-five, thirty, forty-five. A future where I come home to an empty house. I saw my future laying before me, bleak and sad.

And I said the only thing left to me. "I am sorry that things turned out this way," I said to my love as she got in her car and drove off.

I went home. For the first time in probably a decade, I lay on the ground like a little child and sobbed. I felt every inch of my failures, every inch of my pain. And there, curled up on the kitchen floor, Jesus came to me. He came to me and He held me and He let my grief run its course. I asked Him to watch over her, and to bless her in everything she does from now on. And I asked Him to give extra attention to her son, that he might grow up into the kind of Christian man God foresaw when He made him. And I also asked Him to give her good friends to replace me, friends that would succeed where I had failed.

I lost everything that mattered to me on Saturday, May 9th. But Christ found me again. So I suppose it is a net gain.

Life is full of loss and pain. Full of grief. But in those losses, there is a kind of victory. Because I know that I am reunited with my Savior; my Hero. And I also know that we who are in Christ have a joy that cannot be measured, cannot be taken away. "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God, and are called according to his purpose."

I know there will come a day when she and I see each other again. And we will stand in the shadow of Christ, and our eyes will meet. And we will see all the pain we have caused one another, and we will overcome that pain. And then, we will be friends again.

I look forward to that day.

------------------------------------
+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"True Love never has a happy ending, because True Love never ends." - Alexander the Great

May 9 2009

2009-05-10T12:18:00.000-07:00

A day which will forever live in infamy.

I'm special cause...

2009-05-07T10:01:00.000-07:00

I'm Gonna see Star trek later today. I'll let you know how it is.

Wolverine *SPOILERS**

2009-05-03T12:41:00.000-07:00

Saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine last night.
It was meh. Save your money.

The Good:
- Wade Wilson. 'Nuff said.
- Wolverine is a sympathetic character-- something I've always felt the movies managed well, despite their flaws. (The comic book Wolverine, on the other hand, is so hideously overpowered and obnoxious that I wish Galactus would show up and eat him. And shat the remains into a black hole. That ends directly in whatever passes for the bowels of Nyarlathotep.)
- They made Sabretooth an engaging and interesting character.
- The opening sequence was simply great.
- The "Only I am allowed to kill you" moment between Logan and Victor.

The Bad:
- They butchered Deadpool. He doesn't talk, is a mindless drone, has way too many powers, has swords in his arms, doesn't talk(!), wears pajama pants instead of his awesome Red/black outfit... oh, and did I mention he doesn't talk? The "Merc with a mouth" DOESN'T SAY A SINGLE WORD.
- Stryker's final plan. So, you made Wolverine indestructible, pissed him off, let him come straight to you, and when all else fails, what is your plan? "I will shoot him in the head with these special plot-device bullets, which, even though he'll heal, will cause amnesia. There's no way this plan could backfire. I mean, in a world full of people with psychic powers and dozens of abilities that can affect the brain, there's like, no chance Logan could ever get his memories back, realize how badly I screwed him, and end up impaling me and leaving me to my doom in the future, is there? I'm brilliant!"
- There are a lot of decent characters in the film, but none of them get enough screen time. They show up, drop a few one-liners or use their powers, and disappear.
- The special effects. Some scenes are very good, such as the final fight. Others look downright terrible. Logan's claws in the bathroom, most of the motorcycle scene, etc. Which leads me to the worst offense of all...

The Ugly:
-CGI Xavier. So, you have Professor X in your script, but your budget won't allow you to hire the actual Patrick Stewart. Solution? Crib some of his lines from older X-Men movies, and build a computer generated model that is supposed to make us think "young Xavier" but instead takes us plummeting into Uncanny Valley. Nice.

My final verdict? If you have the money to waste, go for it-- it's an easy, enjoyable way to blow a couple of hours. If not, save your hard earned cash for Star Trek, and wait for DVD.

-------------------------------
+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"We will fight them, sir, till hell freezes, and then, sir, we'll fight them on the ice."-Anonymous Confederate Soldier

WARNING: STRESS AHEAD

2009-04-30T08:48:00.000-07:00

So, I changed my major yesterday to History. It's about friggin' time, if you ask me.

Anyways, Dr. Wineland and I figgered out that I would need 46 credit hours to graduate with a B/A in History. If I play my cards right, I can get out in 3 semesters.

And take a maymester class.
And testing out of another class (U.S. History II)
And take a summer class.
And take three classes(Philosophy, World Geography, and American Government) elsewhere because while they are required, they are not available here in the next three semesters.

*sigh*

Man, not looking forward to it.

Oh, and I'm looking for a job this summer, too.

*HEADDESK*

--------------------------------------
+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"Hard pressed on my right. My center is yielding. Impossible to maneuver. Situation excellent. I attack."-General Foch's telegraph to French High Command, the First Battle of the Marne

My life...

2009-04-29T22:23:00.000-07:00

So I've been struggling with a lot of stuff.

A woman, mostly. I don't want to go into a lot of detail, but basically, I gave my heart to someone. It has been in her possession for as long as I have known her. Recently, she decided that my love was not good enough, nor was my friendship.

I learned very recently from a third party (trustworthy source, if you're curious) that she told that person that she did not love me anymore.

I lack the skill to describe in words what happened to me on Monday night. I can only explain (inadequately) that I literally lost all hope. Not, "OMG, this is so terrible, I'm heartbroken." I was certainly that, of course. But this was worse. Literally, All. Hope. Gone.

I had no future, no reason to live.

Let's try an analogy, shall we?

Do you remember the boat scene in Superman Returns? The Nice-Guy-Who-Is-Not-The Hero tries to do it himself, tries to save the day. But the situation is more than a mere mortal can handle. Though the attempt is noble, he fails, and Guy futilely pounds the glass as he and everything he truly cares about is sinking beneath the waves of despair, plunging away from the light of life to suffer a slow death, cold and alone. And then--

Boots on the porthole. The music builds at the arrival of the World's Greatest Hero. Where lesser men fail, He never fails. No problem is beyond His ability to handle. Even if He dies to do it, He will save the day.

The Hero lifts him out of his despair, away from death, and back into the light. He casually tears away the hatch, and looks down. And He speaks.

"Give Me your hand." The one and only-- or 'only begotten', if that's your flavor-- Superman.

There have been two points in my life where God so openly and inevitably moved that I could feel Him; only two points where He-- literally!-- saved my mortal life.

Once was in Afghanistan.
The other was Monday, April 27th, 2009.

But Christ did what no comic-book character could do: He gave me hope back.

God created me for a reason. He has brought me here, to this place and this time, to do something. What, I don't know. But I do know that if it *is* that good, that whatever I'm to do is so important that He will perform genuine miracles to make sure it happens...

I wanna stick around, and see what it is.

---------------------------------------
+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"Be of good cheer; for I have overcome the World." -Jesus Christ

Patience, and Freedom in a Holster ;)

2009-04-17T19:36:00.001-07:00

I think God is teaching me patience.

Don't ask why, it's just been a rough couple of weeks. But one thing I have noticed about all the myriad and different phases I have been through, one thing remains constant: I have no control over the next step. It is always out of my hands.

So, I assume I am being taught patience. That is one of my bigger character flaws, methinks.

Hunh. Couldn't he teach me some other time? And under different circumstances?

Anyhow, it was really nice out today-- I mean, really nice. I usually don't care too much about the temperature, or the sunshine, or trees blooming and birds chirping-- at least, I didn't used to.

I know I've changed in some big, fundamental ways. But little things still get to me. Like appreciating what kind of day it is outside. I'm thinking I understand now what Sather said over there, about how the quality of life counts. It was a different subject, but I think it applies here.

I want to go camping. I want to hike, and hunt, and fish. I want to head away from the cities, away from the press of humanity. I want to see nature, and appreciate it like I never have before.

I open carried my handgun today. It was glorious. Like wearing freedom on my hip. (I'm laughing at that line, BTW.) I can't wait until I get my concealed carry license, so I can carry my Glock almost everywhere.

I don't have names for my firearms. Should I name them? If so, what?
------------------------------
+++AWESOME QUOTE+++
"Stop quoting laws to us. We carry swords."-Pompeius Magnus

Oh Noes! I'm turning into a crazy gun nut!

2009-04-16T12:55:00.000-07:00

Not gonna lie, folks.

I went to Afghanistan, and came home with a love for firearms. On my 2-week leave, I bought a Mossberg 500 and two AR-15s, one of which I have recently sold.

When I got home for good, I bought an AK-47 and an M1 Garand. And lots and lots of ammo.

I filed my taxes on Tuesday, and in celebration of my rather sizeable return, I went and bought a handgun.

Behold, the Glock 30 SF (Short Frame), chambered for .45 ACP!

User-friendly, tough, and perfectly sized for concealed carry. I think this is probably the most expensive hobby I have ever picked up.

Buy firearms, people. And since I'm all about the gettin' of knowledge, I will now perform the end-post ritual of AWESOME Quotations from AWESOME PEOPLE.

----------------------------

+++AWESOME QUOTE+++

"Loneliness. The American grizzly lives out his life alone. Indomitable, unconquered - but always alone. He has no real allies, only enemies, but none of them as great as he.

The world will never love us. They respect us - they might even grow to fear us. But they will never love us, for we have too much audacity! And, we're a bit blind and reckless at times too.

The American grizzly embodies the spirit of America. He should be our symbol! Not that ridiculous eagle." -Theodore Roosevelt, The Wind and the Lion(1975)

2009-04-15T19:35:00.000-07:00

Hey, I haven't forgotten!

Still got this blog, but I've been busy, so I haven't updated it. May continue in the near future.

"Now I've always liked you Byron; but You never knew when to shut up.

Even bad men love their mamas."

I have a blog.

2008-10-10T01:19:00.000-07:00

I tried this some time ago, and it crashed and burned spectacularly.

So I'll try the blog thing again, and hope it floats.